The darkest nights produces the brightest stars…

A series of unfortunate events brought me to the wonderful place of recovery, self awareness, understanding and healing. 

 

Codependency is about control, dependency, lack of boundaries and denial. 

I have a long history of life events that culminated into my life being unmanageable last year. 

I have learned so much in the past 5 months. And grown in leaps over the past 2 months. 

I have 2 current struggles going on this week. I am fighting my default way of handling them. I am sitting back and allow of things to play out without my ‘help’. 

The first struggle is between my ex husband and our children. This has been building for years and I’m sad to see its gotten to this point. I am stuck in the middle. In trying to encourage communication and willingness on both sides. But this is out of my control. All I can do is let my kids know I’m here for them. I am a safe place for them to be heard. 

The other struggle is that I got a summons to appear in court in late April today. My ex boyfriend has put in a motion to dissolve my protective order. There is a slim to none chance of this happening. The thought of having to go to court and see him again makes me feel physically ill. 

One day at a time. One moment at a time on difficult days. 

God, give me serenity to accept the things i cannot be changed. The Courage to change the things that I can ,and the Wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

My journey to serenity continues….

PS I painted the picture used in this post. 

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7 Comments

  1. Wow! You have so much on your plate! All these steps and challenges we are presented with! I always try to remind myself that each is just a part of the Whole- all an opportunity to grow. Wishing you peace in the midst of turmoil. Your artwork is great!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your artwork. You are doing the right thing with your children and your strength and constancy will help and guide them. In terms of the court appearance and having to see someone who brought you so much pain, all I can suggest is to remind yourself that you have grown and become stronger since you last saw him. The anxiety you feel is coming from emotions you felt back then. You are in a better place now so hold your head up high, take deep breaths, and draw on the courage and love within.

    Liked by 1 person

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