Do you see a tree line with a reflection?
Do you see a guitar?
Do you see a tree line with a reflection that happens to look like a guitar?
This was an actual picture but I wondered if it was real. A friend of mine posted it on Facebook and I knew I had to paint it. It is just so beautiful and simple. I love this painting.
Now that I am past the daily chaos that was. I can look back at my life and am starting to see things a different way.
My recovery from being codependent is still in its early stages.
I am still embarrassed that I lived this way. I am still hurting. But everyday I get a little stronger.
I am learning to let go and forgive myself. That process is very hard. I am responsible for so many things running amok. In an earlier post I said I wish I had a super power and could rewind time but I don’t so I can’t.
But what I did do is that I’ve made a list of things I am responsible for and a list of things I wasn’t. Makes it clear where I need to put some energy in for forgiving myself and what I need to let go. That’s not part of my story. That’s someone else’s crap to deal with. I’m leaving it for them to deal with, known or unknown. Its not mine.
It’s easy to take someone else’s inventory, but there is self love and grace and wisdom in taking our own. I get that now. I see it differently.
Part of why some of this is hard for me is I don’t have closure. My parents have passed, my ex husband….well is my ex husband and it would not be a productive conversation. And my ex boyfriend….well I have a protective order. I guess is all part of Gods plan. That I will find my closure a different way.
My journey to serenity continues…
I painted the pictures in this blog post. =]