I know some of my friends are wondering how did Mar ever find herself in this position or why didn’t she see it coming???
Well the truth is, I have often thought that same thing.
The best way to explain it is this….
If you put a frog in a pot of boiling water, the frog would jump out. But put a frog in a pot of the perfect temperature water and s l o w l y turning up the heat, what happens is suddenly the frog is in a pot of boiling water and is trying to figure out what to do and what the heck is going on.
So there I was wondering what the heck happened, my kids are hurt and were not heard, the man I saw my future with lied about everything and when I told him to leave me alone he started stalking me. I couldn’t focus at work, I couldn’t keep track of my bills because my attention was elsewhere.
My codependency nature was totally out of control and I was failing on all fronts.
Trying to control everything but controlling nothing. Being in denial about what was really going on. Having lack of boundaries and speeding past stop signs. Being told all the things I needed to hear. Being told that things will be different just hang on and don’t leave him. Being told that this was part of Gods plan for us and to trust him rather than the exit ramp it was and trusting myself. I was trying so hard to hold onto what I wanted it to be and not to what it was.
The combination of all those things became my pot of boiling water. I am grateful that I got out. But I didn’t do it alone. God, prayers and friends saved me and I am forever humbled by the grace and love that was given to me.
My journey to serenity continues….
I created the graphics in this post with the help of google images and the font candy app.