Do you not like where your life is???
Do you wish you were in a different place in your relationships or finances or weight???
Have you ever looked around and wondered how did THIS become my life???
I have answered yes to all of these.
Then I looked around the people I was hanging with last summer, I discovered that they were in the middle of their addiction or irresponsibility or denial of what was going on.
I thought…. I wasn’t drinking, not doing drugs, not on public assistance (not that there is anything wrong with it when you need a hand up, just not using it as a life style), not scamming for the next fix, not job searching, sorta, maybe, tomorrow I will, living in an awful place that the owner was in jail and the bank was going to foreclosed on it at some point so why not live there. And yet there I was in the middle of it. The only one with a job. The only one with a car. The only one with a relationship with my kids. The only one with a roof over my head that was mine. They needed me and for some reason I needed to feel needed.
The police were called to that awful place all the time. One night I was there when they were called and was wondering why because it was one of the quieter calmer nights. Shortly after the police arrived, I asked if it was ok that I leave. They asked me some questions. When my interview was over, the officer asked me what the hell was doing there? It was almost like a movie ‘what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this’. I answered ‘the guy passed out on the floor upstairs in the front bedroom, for some stupid reason i love him and need to get out of this place’.
Pump the breaks. What the hell am I doing.
I have not talked to anyone from the house is a long time. One passed away in the house. She fell down the stairs and cracked her head on the concrete floor. I was there the night before. And it rattled the house into sobriety for a few days. Three were or are still in jail (one being my ex boyfriend) and one fell off the face of the earth, I fear his fate as well.
Those 5 people were a mess in their addictions. And I became a different kind of mess with them.
What does the Bible say about the people we hang around???
Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare.
Proverbs 13:20 Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Now the 5 people that I hang around are sober, working a program, have great jobs, have wonderful supportive friends and family, have a relationship with God, and helping others with what they are passionate about. Not to say life is easy for these people but they sure are not filled with the chaos and harm to ones self and others.
So who am I becoming…sober from codependency, working a program, have great job, have wonderful supportive friends and family, have a relationship with God, and am helping others by writing this blog and sharing my story. Not to say life is easy now but my life sure is not filled with the chaos and harm to ones self and others life it once was.
Lots can happen when you change who you hang with.
My journey to serenity continues…
The graphic was made with the help of google images and an app called Font Candy to add the text.