Tidal wave of emotions…

30 days ago I started this blog and have written everyday since.  

I am blown away from the support I have found here. I was afraid to be open and expected harsh feedback and have found the opposite. 

It’s funny to me that many of my core group of friends just don’t know what to say and complete strangers have lifted me up and said the perfect thing. 

It makes my heart smile that I have been able to use my artwork in the posts. That in itself brings me to tears because this is two different things that are part me. My simple artwork and my writing that I never knew I was able to do. 

Me being raw, real and vulnerable. Me not being afraid to say what’s on my heart. Me not being afraid to let me voice be heard. 

 

It’s embarrassing to admit that you have been codependent. It’s embarrassing to share that you were in an abusive relationship. It’s embarrassing to admit that you made mistakes. 

I have learned so much about myself because of writing about it where I have been and because of reading others blog posts. It’s sparks something inside me.

Thank you for reading, liking, commenting and following my journey it means more to me than you could ever know. 

I can’t wait to see where this journey takes me. To see what God has planned for me. God does not waste our pain. I already see myself sharing my story at a Celebrate Recovery (CR) meeting. I already see myself leading a CR meeting or step study group. And I also see more in my future.  But until that time, I will continue to heal and grow. I will continue to share my story and I will continue to be grateful for the lessons learned from where I’ve been for had I not been there, I wouldn’t be here. 

My journey to serenity continues…

Ps I painted this pic and used Font Candy to add the text

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13 thoughts on “Tidal wave of emotions…”

  1. Friends don’t always get it, mine along with family saw me change become a co-de but didn’t know that was an ‘illness’ too. They saw me loose weight have no money and stick by someone sicker than me but just didn’t get it. Yes all you say is true, the embrassment the covering up, the lies. I thank your higher power your God of your understanding that you have been shown a new and better way to live. Stick with it we that traveled that unhappy road know the pain you have experienced. I wish I had known there was an alturnative 4 years ago, but then I wouldn’t be on the journey I am on now, everything for a reason – wishing you peace – Hope xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Wonderful! I’m so happy that you’ve found support and peace here in this space. For me, it has also been a huge part of my accomplishments so far. Be gentle with your friends though. Sometimes they just don’t know what to say and that’s okay too. Most of the time, they don’t know what to say because it’s the first time they’re dealing with a situation like this. Other times it’s because they love us so much they hurt too. At some point, the friends that are meant to be a part of your life will remain and stand up. The friendships you don’t need will fall away.
    Be gentle with yourself too. Hugs and love, Phoenix

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Here’s a fun twist. You are encouraging others, and I’m excited to see your thoughts turn towards “What’s next?” and how God will use your story. Abuse sucks. Co-dependancy sucks. They aren’t in our hopes and dreams for our life, but they are real and they cause deep, lasting pain. Luckily, there’s healing and hope and recovery. So grateful you’ve found that path and are sharing it out loud for others to find.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Do dependent people are often among the most generous and caring you can find. They want to help and heal others but often get pulled into relationships with people who don’t want help. And stay, trying to fix them.

    People asked me how I could work with people with PTSD, depression, sexual assault victims, addicts. For me, I learned quickly to care but step back- know what is whose problem- mine or theirs. I miss it.

    Keeping working through the emotions. It’s hard work but that’s where healing path is

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I want to share more about my codependent ways, but I want to learn and understand them first. I’ve scheduled my first therapy session. Until then, I’m trying to enjoy life and get all up in my own face with a big high five to me and a fuck you to codependency when I say NO. Or, nothing at all 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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