Sometimes you forget…

Sometimes you forget just how far you have come until you are reminded. 

In reading others recovery blogs I find hope in their stories and sometimes I catch myself being upset that I’m not part of my ex boyfriends recovery. And then I quickly remember that he is not in recovery and thats one of the many  reasons we are no longer together. 

I remember waiting for his recovery kept me stuck in codependency. I kept giving him one more chance again and again because what if this was the time he would stay sober.  What if this was the time and I walked away. How could I do that. 

  
And that what if, would end as soon as the next binge started and my heart full of hope and wanting him to succeed would shatter again. 

And so the merry go round started. Again.

Now that I’m no longer willing to play on that merry go round. 

I need to remember how far i have come since I walked away.

I noticed the other day that I was walking  taller. There was a different stride in my step. I was happy over the silliest things. I think about things and grin ear to ear again. Such a different feeling.

I’m starting to go places my ex and I have been and he is not the first thing on my mind. I hear a song on my play list and it’s not about him. It’s just a great song.

Is everything where I want it to be?  No. But am I where I was 7, 5 or even 3 months ago? NO. 

Progress not perfection.

My heart is healing. My mind is settled down. I’m finding myself again. 

I am cutting yourself some slack. I am giving yourself a break. It took me time to get into that place and it will take time to get me to the next place. But I will enjoy every step of the journey.

Sometimes you forget just how far you have come until you are reminded…

My journey to serenity continues…

Thank you Google Images for the graphic. 

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6 Comments

  1. Sometimes my HP sends me messages and today your post was my gift. You have encapsulated my thoughts and feelings exactly and so that I thank you. It was exactly what I needed to read to remind myself exactly why when he calls back later ( have all ready had a call say how he’s gonna change blah blah blah) I have the words and the tools to not get involved with his drama. Not to climb back on that merry go round and hope THIS time he means it. My deepest thanks for sharing it’s going to keep me on my road to recovery X

    Like

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