Tuesday nights have become my favorite night of the week. Why? Because that is my Celebrate Recovery (CR) meeting night. I’m going to make an effort and add Friday night as well. Friday night is a different location. I always feel so much better after a meeting. Grounded. Loved. At peace.
Here is part of my favorite song of the night…
Laid behind a stone
You lived to die
Rejected and alone
Like a rose
Trampled on the ground
You took the fall
And thought of me
Jesus sacrificed everything for me (and for you.) He paid the price for me (and for you)
As I shared in yesterday’s post, this week a year ago was the beginning of the end . I’ve spent far too much time in the last 2 days reliving and beating myself up for not seeing what was going to happen.
A conversation last night revealed to me that maybe just maybe God was protecting me from seeing it sooner because this needed to happen. And maybe just maybe it’s what was happening for my ex as well as me. I know God was working in my life and his. And as addiction took over his life and my codependency took over mine, this was what was needed to happen.
I’m not saying that God wanted me to be hurt in all the ways I was but having been in THAT place and now not being there but being here working a program. That THAT got me to want to give my codependency to God. To trust His plan for me. To understand that I have had a my life long history of unhealthy relationships.
What does the bible say about dwelling on the past…
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
2 Corinthians 5:17-18
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation.
What is old has passed away and the new has come. Reminds me of a caterpillar and changing becomes a butterfly. I want to become that butterfly. I can be that butterfly. I am that caterpillar and I am that butterfly.
My journey to serenity continues…
The pics used in this post are mine. That rose was given to me during a very dark day last year and I felt like a rose trampled on the ground. And the Fly high butterfly tattoo is on my right shoulder.