I wrote this post the other day but when I posted it, it posted my first draft and I had made a ton of edits. Don’t know what happened and so I deleted it and am going to try again. I actually like this one better than the first, don’t you love how things work out.
Like everyone, I have several roles in life.
I am a daughter. Sadly my parents have passed away. They struggled with alcohol.
I am a sister. I’m the youngest and the distance of my siblings, it made me more like an only child. I spent lots of time with my parents and their friends. I’m close to 2 of my 5 siblings.
I am a single Mom. My amazing boys are the love of my life. We spend tons of time supporting each other from theatre to marching band to scouts. My fine young men make me so proud.
I am an employee. I have a good job. I enjoy it. Some days I love it. There have been fewer love it days lately. I know I’ll love it again….or get a different job which ever comes first.
Managing my life and the schedule of 3 busy boys with school, hobbies and jobs. Plus I go to Celebrate Recovery and Bible study is hard.
I rearly ask for help. I’ve run myself ragged dashing here and dropping off one person to run here to drop off the next do it again in reverse order.
I’ve been single parenting it for 6 years and last fall was the first time I asked for help people moving. My son was in cast in a play and I couldn’t get him to rehearsal and me to Bible study on time. I really wanted to do both so I asked my brother to help and he was happy to do so.
My plate is full and sometimes it’s overflowing. I feel like I fly without a safely net. Security is all I’ve ever wanted and nothing I’ve ever had.
Last week my car broke down. I called my go to car guy (everyone needs one of these) who is working on fixing it for me. And another friend offered to let me borrower a spare car until my car was fixed so that I can continue to people move.
The ultimate act of asking for help is the day I walked into a Celebrate Recovery meeting. I was going to Al Anon for nearly 2 months but I really wasn’t ready and I was missing something.
I walked into that meeting knowing no one. Not knowing anyone who had ever gone to CR. Held at a Church I’ve never been to.
But what I quickly found was that I felt at home. Welcomed. Loved.
In my second meeting, I took a 24 hour token. I was ready. Ready to ask for help. Help from God. Help from others who have been there. I stood up and declared that I struggled with codependency and was the daughter of alcholics and that I couldn’t do this on my own and that I was worth it.
Why is asking for help so hard?
Does it mean I failed?
Does it mean I’m not capable?
Does it mean I’m not able to manage?
Does it mean I’m not enough?
No it’s doesn’t mean any of those things. We are made to help each other. God wants us to help each other. God does not want us to struggle.
There is power is asking for help not shame. There is strength is accepting help not weakness. And there is the ultimate self care and self love knowing that asking for help also gives to the person helping you and fills a need in them as well.
Helping someone else feels amazing.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help! I’m getting better at it.
My journey to serenity continues…
I painted the picture in this post and used Font Candy to add the text.