YOUR FAULT VS YOUR PART

I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting last night. Over the past almost 100 days the people who attend have become such an amazing source of support, love, understanding and wisdom. There is so much to be said about being around people that are where you are headed. 

I learn so much in every meeting. I learn so much before and after the meeting during time of fellowship. 

I had a conversation with 2 others about codependency and then we talked about sometimes when you are talking to someone not in recovery about what’s going on in our life they want to help fix it. And sometimes you just want to have someone listen and not help. Just listen. 

I said that’s the best part about coming to a meeting and sharing. During the sharing time, it’s an opportunity for someone to share about whatever is going on in their life. Good, struggle, a praise or a concern. No one can interrupt you. No one can ‘help’ you fix it. No one can say what you are feeling is stupid. And sometimes all someone needs is to say out loud what they are feeling. Sometimes giving a feeling a voice is all you need. Sometimes all you need it to think something out loud and work it out yourself. 

During the core meeting the teaching was about taking your inventory and the parts of doing an fearless inventory. One section is ‘my part’. So during the conversation after the meeting, we talked about the difference between Your Fault and Your Part. Fault is an acknowledgement of guilt. 

  

While Your Part is how your actions contributed to it. Being in an addict/codependent relationship, it’s a dance of action and reaction between the two people. 

I was happy to hear and understand this distinction because it gives me permission to stop feeling so guilty and shameful about last year. Yes I played a part, my reactions were clearly unhealthy and codependent, but it was not my fault. 

My journey to serenity continues….

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