Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past….but I’ve Been Redeemed You Set Me FREE

Today started off as a typical day. 2 Sons at work and my youngest and I were home. I made a list of things to do including some outdoor stuff that I wanted to be finished sooner rather than later because of the heat. 

I live in a townhouse and have a pretty small yard. Really too big for a push mower so I have a small electric mower. I got the mover out of shed and headed out the back gate to walk around to the front yard. 

When I opened the gate, in the grass just outside the gate was a plastic beer bottle. It was a 40 oz and was the brand my ex would drink. 

For a split second, I was frozen in my tracks at the thought that it was his. As quick as that feeling came, it went. It was just trash. It held no power. It held no feelings. It does not define me or a time in my life. It’s not mine. 

My day continued to be a typical day. 

How far I have come in my recovery in the last 110 days. It makes me smile to know that ghosts from my past, hold no power. That only with the grace of God and me working my program was I able to not be rattled by seeing that garbage in the grass. 

After I cut the grass, I did some trimming and went in the front door for water and to take a break. A bit later I had to run get my son from work. I took the mower back around to the back shed. I don’t even remember seeing the beer bottle that time. 

As soon as I got in the car to get my son, this song played.

  
BIG DADDY WEAVE LYRICS
“Redeemed”
Seems like all I could see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
Stop fighting a fight it’s already been won”
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed, I’m redeemed
All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember, oh God, You’re not done with me yet
I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off these heavy chains
Wipe away every stain, now I’m not who I used to be
Because I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
‘Cause his day is long dead and gone

Because I’ve got a new name, a new life, I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I’ll shake off these heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, ’cause I’m not who I used to be

I am redeemed, You set me free

So I’ll shake off these heavy chains

Wipe away every stain, yeah, I’m not who I used to be

Oh, God, I’m not who I used to be

Jesus, I’m not who I used to be

‘Cause I am redeemed

Thank God, redeemed

This new life and way of thinking with recovery is so amazing. I am so grateful for the Celebrate Recovery program and those to attend and support each other. I am so grateful for my sponsor who is helping to guide me while I work the steps, and I am so very grateful that I am willing to live life differently, with God first and trusting His plan. 

My journey to serenity continues….

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2 thoughts on “Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past….but I’ve Been Redeemed You Set Me FREE”

  1. It is interesting to read your posts and be able to see your transformation happen first hand, albeit through a tiny lense, but it’s there nonetheless. You are changing. I agree that it is amazing what God can do for us and with us when we trust Him and turn our will over to Him. It is one of the greatest gifts ever. Thanks for sharing 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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