My Truth

hard days lead to the next good one…

I was reading the 12 steps over the weekend and the 8 principals from the Celebrate Recovery materials. 

I was stuck by certain words in each and this has truly become a way of life and thinking for me.  

I’ve been saying for days and days now (sometimes many times a day) God is in control when I’ve overwhelmed by work or when thoughts of what’s happening with my ex enters my head. 

 
I know like I know like I know that those thoughts are not from God. Those thoughts of doubt or worry or asking what if, are from darkness. 

I am trusting the system. Trusting that I am exactly where God wants me to be. And maybe just maybe it’s actually for someone else. Someone else needs me here to join them on their journey or maybe someone else is about to join mine. So maybe being here, being willing to work my program and step 4 is all I need to do right now and it’s just that simple. 

Doubt, worry and what ifs steals your joy from where you are and from being present. 


Today I am stronger than yesterday. There have been 201 yesterday’s since I committed to a program and every day I commit to being in recovery and making this way of thinking rule my day……one amazing day at a time. Good days and hard ones too. Hard days lead to the next good one and that is all I can ask for. 

My journey to serenity continues…..

I made the graphics in this post thanks to google images, font candy and work salad. You can email me at thisgirlsjourneytoserenity@gmail.com

My Truth

New day. Fresh start. Make the next right choice.

I can only credit what I’ve learned in my recovery program to how I’ve recovered from  such an awful work week. 

 
I asked one of the managers if I could talk to him. I first apologized for having such an off week. What you don’t know is that I have recently been diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. (I’ll share more about that when I’m ready) I’ve been in some medication for over a month that was giving me insomnia. It was building more and more and I was sleeping less and less. So I said that the insomnia got the best of me and I was making mistakes and not knowing it because my brain was foggy from lack of sleep. 

I then said, I think these things contributed to my department having such a difficult week because of this and this and here is how I think we can improve these things. 

Finally I said,  I’m struggling with ______ and do you have a better way of doing this than I have figured out. 

I still have a lot of work ahead of me but I feel so good that I handled this in the way I did. I just needed a little bit of time and some sleep to get back on track. 

Again I credit my program and the new skills I have learned that I was able to handle this in the way I did. I know the manager appreciated it and we have a really good working relationship. If I hadn’t hit my bottom in a codependent relationship, I wouldn’t have started my recovery and I would have continued to beat myself up and struggle in silence. 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

just start rowing…

I went to a different meeting over the weekend, not my home meeting. Differnt focus, same steps. i introduced myself and said it was my first meeting. that i’ve been going to another group for 6 months and am working on Step 4. and that there is a lot of emotional stuff going on and i wanted to try this meeting for additional support.

Was very welcomed and heard things that i could totally relate to and needed to hear. 

One person shared with me this image about recovery groups, so i wanted to share it with you.

Picture this…

everyone in the meeting is sitting in a body of water, rowing. 

You look at them like they are crazy, rowing just sitting in the water. 

They invite you to join in. 

And you are not sure but go ahead and sit with the rest in the water. 

You look around and think its just weird to be sitting in the water rowing. 

But you decide that you will give it a try and start rowing. 

And that is when the boat appears. 

  
So the point is, to just do what everyone else is doing. Listen, share, get a sponsor, read and work the steps. Even if it feels weird. Even if you are afraid. Do it anyway. The boat will come! 

Addiction no matter the type, keeps us isolated and often full of shame. While the fellowship you will find in recovery groups is like no other kind of fellowship. 

And before you know it, you will be encouraging someone else to just take a chance and get in the water and just start rowing because they see your recovery and because you give them hope that the boat will come! 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

Because of His Grace and for His glory! 

Can you tell the difference between these two pictures???   
The picture on the left was taken on 7.18.15. That girl had just made the most codependent decision that she could make. And as a result, her kids moved out of the house. You can see what was left a blackened eye. That girl is broken. That girl is afraid. That girl is empty. That girl is desperate for what she thought she had. That girl was thinking about ending it all. That girl could not believe what is happening to her life because of a relationship with someone she cared so much about. That girl was in the middle of chaos and had not hit bottom yet. She wants nothing more than to run away from what’s going on but also is trying to keep it all together. 

The picture on the right was taken on 8.2.16. That girl is working a recovery program. That girl is healing parts of her heart that have been in the dark for so long that she didn’t even realize she still hurt. That girl knows God is in control and worry does not change outcome. That girl knows to accept the things you can not change. That girl knows to change the things that you can. And That girl prays for the wisdom to know the difference. That girl is being real and genuine. That girl has grown in leaps and bounds. That girl is really awesome and she is going to do great things by sharing her recovery story! 

That girl is me. And today I feel like a completely different person than I was a year ago and it’s all because of His grace and for His glory that share my story of what God has done for me. 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

Feeling so encouraged!!!

Step 4 is getting easier. Maybe because it’s not as scary to get real with my past once I started. Maybe because as one thing is healed I am encouraged and want to heal the next feelings. Maybe because I love this new version of me that I am becoming. Maybe because I’m stronger today than I was yesterday and am able to deal with past event today. Maybe because when I started and really went through steps 1-3 first and am solid in knowing that I am powerless over codependency, that I truly believe that only God can restore me to sanity and I made the decision to turn my life and will over to the loving care of God! Maybe it’s all these things. 

I know I’m stronger because someone else in program has turned to me for advice and I have been a good listener but I didn’t give her permission for her decisions as she was looking for but GENTLY gave her a reality check and repeated things back to her, in her own words and asked her questions. She’s going to do what she’s going to do. I can be encouraging but at the end of the day, it’s her life and program. 

I feel so happy with my progress (not perfection) over the last few months. 

  
I got this….my life…..because God has got me. He is guiding my foot steps. His plan is what matters not mine. 

I am feeling at peace right now, something that I’m not sure I have ever felt this before. 

My journey to serenity continues…

I made the artwork used in this post. Feel free to email me at thisgirlsjourney@gmail.com