My Truth

love is….

Most everyone has heard 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. You may not know it by the chapter and verse but you’ve heard at a wedding I’m sure. 

I’ve heard it at many a wedding. I’ve heard it at a funeral and tonight it was mentioned at my Celebrate Recovery meeting.

What if we took those passages and replaced the words LOVE AND IT and before each line with our name. And THAT is how we strived to live our life…


Mar is patient
Mar is kind
Mar does not envy
Mar does not boast
Mar is not proud
Mar is not rude
Mar is not self seeking
Mar is not easily angered
Mar keeps no records of wrongs 
Mar does not delight in evil
Mar rejoices with the truth
Mar always protects
Mar always trusts
Mar always hopes
Mar always perseveres 
Mar never fails

With God all things are possible! 
Do I have work to do to make all those statements true, you betcha I do and that’s what makes me human and growing and learning and living! 

Give it go, put your name before each line and feel how it changes your heart and mindset. 

Much love and light. 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

3 Circles Method…

This week I for the 1st time taught a lesson at my Celebrate Recovery meeting. I’m sure it’s different hearing it over reading it, but I wanted to share with you what I learned and taught.

I am humbled and honored by this experience and feedback I received.

Everytime I practiced, I cried at the same place….everytime. So I decided to just embrace who I am as a crier and not worry about it or try and stop it. After all there is healing in tears. And it’s just part of me being real. What I was not expecting is that I started to cry sooner and i forgot to bring tissues on the stage. My niece was there to support me and when I saw her leave the room I was concerned she was upset about what I said. But I was wrong, she left to get me tissues and walked on stage and gave me  the biggest hug. And then I was able to keep going.

It’s a little long but enjoy. Please tell me what you think! And if you are not familiar with Celebrate Recovery, it is a Christian based 12 step program for anyone who wants to overcome hurts, hang ups or habits.


Hi my name is Mar and I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ. I struggle with codependency.

James has become one of my go to books of the Bible. Several years ago after I was first separated, I was missing something from my life. I grew up Catholic. We went to Church every week and I went to Catholic school for all 12 years. But my faith had become quiet in my adult life.

So I started searching for a new Church home. It’s funny those of you who are Catholic know this but Catholics do not study the Bible. I found that by doing Bible Studies there were so many people I didn’t know about. There is Wisdom, Strength, Courage, Hope and Grace.

Everywhere I turned at first, I found James. James 1:2-3 Dear brothers and sisters when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity of great joy. For you know when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 

Great joy in trials, my life was falling apart how could this possibly be joy. My life continued to spiral into chaos but I never stopped searching. I knew there was more for me and my life.

Did you know the Bible talks about addiction? You can find one example in James 1:14-15 Temptations comes from our own desire which entice us and drag us away. These desired give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. 

Some of us are one use away from losing everything or death. Many of us know someone who has died from their addiction.

They never got to understand the freedom there is in recovery.

But through recovery we learn that we need to admit we are powerless over our addictions and compulsive behaviors. We learn to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. And that we made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God.

Proverbs 16:9 We can make our plans but the Lord determined our steps. 

In recovery, wherever we are tonight, we can put the 3 Circles Method into action and it will keep you safe and keep you working your program and the 12 steps.

Plan your work, work your plan.

Because if you are not working on your recovery, you are working on your relapse.

THE FIRST CIRCLE – The Center Circle

The first circle is your abstinence statement. Knowing what your are abstaining from is the place to start. Giving it a name. Defining it for you.

What do I need to avoid? Substance or behavior. Whatever it is. YOU define what abstinence means to you and your program. Is it: Alcohol? Dependency on other? Drugs? Food? Sugar? Pornography? Anger?

For me, I struggle with codependency and have been involved in unhealthy relationships with active or dry alcoholics. But if that is not your struggle and drugs or alcohol is, than abstaining from those would be in your center circle.

I had to look at my food issues and figure out where I struggle and what I need to avoid. For example, not eating from boredom or emotion is in my center circle. Or I have in the past I have just not eaten and lived on coke or coffee. So not eating is also in my center circle.


The second circle is your boundaries list. This is self imposed limits that promote health and recovery.

It’s boundaries around situations, people and behaviors and these limits keeps you safe.

Early in my recovery I made boudraries without even knowing it. If I was in a situation where I felt uncomfortable, I quickly recognized that it was not a safe place for me.

In the past, boundaries were like suggestions. And when someone crossed a boundary, I gave them a pass or just moved the boundary.

But now boundaries or limits keep me working my program.

If you struggle with alcohol, maybe having a boundary that you can’t go to a bar to play darts or listen to a band because it’s just not safe for you.

Maybe you have to limit how much cash you carry so that you are not tempted to buy something you shouldn’t and having to use a card to get cash would stop you or would help it become noticed.

Maybe you have to create a boundary around some of your old friends from your old life. I know I did. I reconnected with someone I went to high school with in late 2014. It ended in the worst of ways buts that’s a story for another day. We have many of the same friends on Facebook. Because I now have a protective order against him, I unfriended some and felt I needed to share with others what happened to keep me safe from indirect contact.

If you are looking at your partners phone when they are asleep or in the other room to see what he/she are doing maybe you need to set a boundary not to and focus on your program and not take someone else’s inventory.

A boundary may be to install software on your computer or phone so you don’t view certain websites that you shouldn’t.

Whatever it is you need to keep you out of the center circle.


The third circle is the best one of all. It’s where you create your plan. A plan you make using the tools we have to be healthy. Healthy physically, healthy spiritually and healthy emotionally.

1 Corinthians 10:13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is  faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endore. 

This is how you endore. This is your escape plan. This is your safely net. This is your relapse prevention tool box.

I keep my bag in my purse. It’s actually a Bible cover. I like it because it’s the perfect size and had pockets. But you may keep your bag at home or work or in your car. Where ever you need it. when you are struggling to do the next right thing and that center circle is calling your name, this is where you go.

This is what I have in my bag and other ideas of what you could have if yours.

The serenity prayer, 12 steps and 8 principles. We get a copy at every meeting and sometimes simply reading these is enough to reset your mind.

CR Book – You get one at your first meeting. It explains the program and it has testimonies. If you do not have one, they are available in the gathering space.

List Of Meetings – if it’s not a Tuesday night and you want to go to a meeting, we have a list meetings in the area also available in the gathering space.

Phone a friend – this is a list of people to call. Written down. No excuses that your phone is dead and you don’t know the number. You have a list of people to call. When I got my drivers license, my Dad taped a quarter to the inside of my glove box and told me no matter what, if I ever needed a ride home, no questions asked just call if I need a ride. So I glued a quarter to my phone a friend card to remind me….no risk, no judgment just call and ask for help.

My Top 10 Things To Do Instead – these are personal and what brings you joy and distracts you. My top 10 are. Call my sponsor. Journal. Listen to music. Go to a meeting. Read the Bible. Meditate. Paint. Go for a walk. Write a thank you note. There is always someone to thank. And an act of kindness. Doing something for someone else feels good for them and for you.

Remember Why I Started – in 2015 I was dating a dry and then active alcoholic. I was trying to save him from himself and make his fall a softer landing. But what I did was put myself and my family in harms way and I prevented him from growing from the experience. My life was unmanageable and I just needed the chaos to stop. So I started this journey to stop the chaos.

My 100 Things List – One of the first things my sponsor had me do was to write 100 positive words that describe me. This took me a month. And I asked friends. And I used the thesaurus.  But when it gets in my head that i am not enough, I read these words to remind me who I really am.

I also created  a word bubble with the 12 steps and serenity prayer and other slogans. Reminding myself that God is in control, that I need to share my story with others, to live one day at a time, examine and confess, pray and meditate. This can easily change my focus from my current temporary situation to something positive.

Nail – I have a nail to remind me that Jesus Christ died for me. He paid the price for my sins. I keep it in a little box on the front I wrote 1Timothy 2:6 He gave his life to purchase freedom for everyone. And on the back I wrote 2Peter 2:19 You are a slave to whatever controls you.

Pictures of Loved Ones – on the back I wrote what is at risk if I relapse.

Write a Letter – write a letter to yourself, write it now when you are feeling strong. What you would tell yourself in just moment you were about to use. Ask loved ones to write a letter too and explain why your sobriety matters to them.

I AM Statements – it’s like my 100 words list. There is an app I AM that will send positive affirmations during the day.

Play List – have a play list on your phone or iPod  loaded with your favorite songs. Mine is filled with many of songs we sing here at CR.

Read the Bible – One thing I do when I don’t know where to start to look for something I Google ‘what does the Bible say about —-‘ it gives me a starting point.

Write, Journal or Blog – I’ve been in the CR program for 9 1/2 months now and 8 months ago I started blogging. I have 104 posts and 150 followers that I don’t even know. I have 6000 hits from 2000 visitors from 33 countries.

Meditate – there’s a app for that. I use Abide. It’s a prayer meditation style app. You can search by feelings and there even is a CR Guide that has a prayer for each step.

Listen to a Podcast – just like I did to learn about the 3 circles method. Did you know there are hundreds of CR meetings available to listen to from the podcast app or online?

The Three Circles

YOU define what YOU are abstaining from.

YOU define YOUR boundaries.

YOU define YOUR plan.

I think this is a cool visual. Because people in recovery talk about those things in the black center circle. We are willing to be vulnerable, genuine and are willing to share with others what we struggle with.

It makes these things small. Talking about it puts it in the light and it’s no longer a secret. You are no longer isolated in your addiction. And the more boundaries and plan you have around the center the smaller it becomes. Your life becomes healthy. Your plan keeps you on track when you live in the orange and grey circles.

Why do you need a fire escape plan? 

Having a plan helps you to avoid trigger situations. Being prepared for a situation will help you with alternatives when there is a trigger.

Having a plan helps you to forgive yourself of slips. Having a plan will help a slip from becoming a full relapse.

Having a plan helps avoid keeping cravings a secret. Talk to your sponsor or accountability partner. We are as sick as our secrets.,

Having a plan helps you to work on healthy behaviors and putting energy into healthy places is the best self care.

Having a plan helps you to try something different and alternative choices. Be willing to try something else after all our best thinking got us into CR to begin with.

This is My Final Thought

My final thought.

From Philippians 4 8-9 And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you. 

And the God of peace will be with you. Another word for peace is serenity. And the God of serenity will be with you.

Keep coming back, it works if your work it and you are worth it.

Thank you for letting me share.
My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

an aha moment…

I am teaching for the first time at my Celebrate Recovery (CR) meeting on Tuesday. The bulk of it was written weeks ago, I’ve reading it and rereading it ever since. I’ve practiced it out loud in the car during lunch. I’ve practiced on my sofa. I’ve practiced with my sponsor. And with another friend last night. I think I’m pretty prepared. 

This lesson is one I brought to the leaders and asked if I can teach because it meant so much to me when I heard a CR Podcast about it. 

I earn a living by talking to complete strangers about payroll over the phone and explain something fairly complicated in easy to understand terms. I’m used to that. I am not used to standing up infront of people and reading something to them. 

I was just about to practice one more time tonight and I had an aha moment. 

First I have to rewind my story a little…..

In late 2014, I reconnected with a guy I went to high school with. He was looking for a fresh start and I quickly fell for him as he told me everything I needed to hear. He moved in my home and crashed on my sofa. Things were simple and easy. He had a job. And then life happened and his hours got cut. And all hell broke loose. 

He started drinking for days…. weeks and then …..months. I kicked him out after days but chased after him and tried to save him from himself. And that started my crazy spiral of chaos from being in a codependent / addict relationship. 

During the months and months, he tried to stop drinking  for a few days here and there. We talked about Gods plan for us and we talked about one day we would be on a stage together sharing our recovery story. 

And now fast forward to today. A short year later, I will be on the stage sharing part of my story and teaching about avoiding relapse and putting together a plan. 

It just hit me that this was our plan together and that I’m about do it myself. This was part of Gods plan for me all along. My story is important. My story is one of hope and grace and finding joy in trails. My story is about connecting the dots of my life and putting the pieces together. It’s about trusting God and letting go. 

This girls journey to serenity…

My Truth

Open Letter to Codependency…

Dear Codependency –

I didn’t know much about you until late in 2015. But you had been a part of me for a long time. 

It’s how I learned to deal with life. And 2015 was a perfect storm. 

It was such a surprise to me but I woke up daze, confused and heartbroken and then I discovered the truth about you. 

When you (codependency) ruled my day, I….

  • Had an unreasonable sense of responsibility for his actions.
  • Needed to be needed and jumped in that role naturally. He needed me and I needed to feel needed.
  • Didn’t ask questions because I don’t want to know the answer. The fantasy of what I wanted it to be was more important to what it actually was. 
  • Tended to do more that my share. Over achieving doing more or making up for his lack of ability to do it himself. 
  • Would rather have felt awful then be alone. 
  • Avoided making decisions and allowing someone who was deep in addiction to make decisions for me. 
  • Lied to cover up when he was drunk and failed to keep his promises. 
  • Would rather feel nothing and take care of him other feeling how out of control it was. 
  • Fear of being judged by others for decisions I knew were not in my best interest. 
  • Was so trapped in denial that I didn’t see any of the above. 

The first few months of learning about the dance that codependents and addicts do, I was full of embarrassment and shame. How could I do this to myself and my family. 

Then the more learned and started to dig deep in how did this happen? How did I ever get to into this situation? How did this become ok?

And the pieces of my life started to come together. I understood how and why. When I got this tattoo on my shoulder several years ago it was because I felt broken and pulled apart. Now it’s about putting the pieces of me back together. 

So codependency, thank you for time but try not to waste anymore of mine. You kept me safe in some ways and harmed me in other.

 I’ve figured you out and am leaving you behind and moving forward with my head held high. I’m learning new ways to cope with life and figuring out what a healthy version of me looks like. 

Driving away and seeing you in the rear view mirror feels amazing. 

All the best. 

This Girls Journey to Serenity ….


My Truth

An Open Letter to the Committee in My Head! 

Dear Committee in My Head- 

I’m sure there are more than 6 of you but I’d like to address you. 

HaPpY – I drew you in pink because it my favorite color and I imagine you would be in all pink. I love having you around more lately.

Grateful – You remind me to full my heart of all the small things that matter.  Little things add up to big feelings. Coming from a grateful place keeps me grounded in what I have.    

Envy – I don’t like when you show up. Like yesterday when a friend told me she was dating someone new, you had to pipe up and get in my head. You come from comparing my life to others and really I’m just focused on being me and embracing who I am not need to compare. 

Angry – I don’t feel you that often. But you sure make a statement when I do. You have a time and place and I’m grateful that I’ve gotten better at expressing you in a more healthy way.

Oh Lonely and Sad, how I do love you. We’ve spent a lot of time together over the last few years. You’ve been with me on some long dark days. I wish You guys weren’t around so much. I think it’s getting better as HaPpY and Grateful are around more. 

All of you have a time and place. Please know I need all of you to be human but when one stays too long, it’s not healthy for any of us. 

Thanks for making me, me. 

Grow with me, the best is yet to be. 


This girls journey to serenity

I drew the feelings in this post. =] 

My Truth

Open letter to Worry….

Dear Worry – 

You have served your purpose and kept me safe and busy for long enough. And I thank you for time but it’s over. 

It’s not you, it’s me…..ok well it’s kinda you but please don’t take it personal. I’ve just learned that life is a lot easier when I don’t have you in my life because I know God is in control. 

Through my attendance and work in Celebrate Recovey, there are was a section in Step 1 about Powerless. It says ‘Worry – worrying is a form of not trusting God enough’.



I never thought of you in this way. It was a game charger for me. 


The other thing I learned about you is that no matter how long I spend with you, it doesn’t change outcome. In the past, I have spent a lot of time with you and your friends What If and If Only and again it’s time for me to move on. 

Please tell them to lose my number. 

Worry, What If and If Only, I’m done. I’m trusting God. You will not have me spend one more minute on what could have been or second guessing decisions that were already made. 

Thank you again for doing your best to keep me safe. You did a great job with what you knew. I will miss you…..maybe, ok likely not. 

Much love and light! All the best.

this girls journey to serenity…

I painted the pictures used in the post and used Font Candy to add the text. 

My Truth

Open letter to My Recovery Tokens

Dear Recovery Tokens – 

Oh how I love you. I count the days until I get a new one. I celebrate your arrival. I clap for my friends who get you. 

Tokens are used to identify milestones or time frames of recovery. It’s not only for the person getting the token but also to inspire others but most of all, they are for His glory! 

Today is 9 months in program! 

9 months and 1 week ago, I walked into my first Celebrate Recovery Meeting. I was so broken. I cried the entire time. I was so ready to stop the insanity. Stop being in denial. I was ready for God to take this from me and free my life of codependency. My life was chaos. Something had to give and I wasn’t going to let it be me. At the close of every meeting we say the Lords Prayer and say ‘keep coming back, it works if you work it and you are worth it’

The next week, I got the first token. The 24 hour to 29 day token and I said that I was hurting and broken. But that I was worth it. 

This first token says ‘welcome home’.

I carried this first token on me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for months. It meant everything to me. On days I didn’t know what I was doing or if the pain I was feeling would ever end, I clung to. And then one day, I noticed I wasn’t hurting as much. And started going days without thinking about what happened in the past. 

Then I started working the steps with my sponsor and while there was pain, there was so much healing. 

So thank you my dear recovery tokens for helping me count the months. For celebrating and giving hope to others. But most of all, thank you for allowing me to glorify God and sharing with others what God has done in my life. 

Stay on this ride with me…..the best is yet to be.

This girls journey to serenity…

My Truth

An Open Letter to P, D and J

Dear P. D and J –

You are my work family. 

P, my work mom. D, my work sister in Christ and J, my work husband. How would I ever get to the end of each work day without you? 

You guys support me like no one else. You each encourage me when I need it. You each help me everyday with work stuff and you each keep me sane. 

We have seen many people come and go at work. We have each had to pick up a the pieces of a work project and helped each other figure out where is was left off and how to finish it. 

You have walked along side me on some very dark days. In the eye of the storm, you were there just to listen.  And loved me along the way. 

P – you are always positive and help me see the benefit from growth in trials. D – you pray with me to put the darkness under our feet and remind me that God is in control. J – you lift my spirit and make my heart smile. 

You cried with me when my personal life was out of control and I was deep in a codependent unhealthy relationship but you gently restored me and allowed me to figure it out with love and support. 

You stood next to me when I was demoted because my personal life got in the way of work and never made me feel less than about what happened. 

You supported me when I took on my new position and was struggling to figure it out. You asked me how you could help and let me vent when I needed to. You celebrate with me as things got easier. 

You each have helped me shine because of your support. 

I love you guys so much. At work and outside of the office. We have each done things together outside the office. Dinner, painting, theatre, rides when my car is not working. If I need something, I know I can turn to you. 

I am so grateful to have each of you and am blessed to have this deep of a relationships with each of you. 

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron  so one person sharpens another.

Thank you for sharpening me! 

Stay on this ride with me, the best is yet to be!

Love Always XXOO


This girls journey to serenity….

I took the photo in this post. 

My Truth

Open Letter to Alcohol… 

Dear Alcohol –

I really don’t like you. I don’t like how shows on tv or movies promote using you to cope with life. I don’t like how easy it is to get you. 

I don’t like how people do stupid things to have you. Including me. I asked people outside 7-11 to buy you for me when I was in high school. I never liked how you made me feel. I got so sick  from drinking too much. I hated bed spins. And most of all, I didn’t like feeling like I was out of control. I saw my friends make stupid decisions. 

I think I actually hate you for what you did to my parents. They used you to avoid feeling something that is uncomfortable. You stole my Mom from me. She spent a life time with you, avoiding feelings. Coping with or not coping with life. 

My kids missed out on their grandmother for the last 7 years because of you. Their last memory of her was her in a hospital bed and we had to wear special gowns and gloves and wash our hands going in and out of the room. And it’s all because of you. 

I hate that you were more important to watch a sports event for my ex husband than the boys and I were. 

I have seen you adversely impact families all around me.

 And I have recently seen amazing people that put you in your place. They are strong and determined and willing to do the hard work to cope with life without you. 

Leave my friends alone. I’ve lived without you and don’t miss you and don’t need you. 

All my Revocery friends (and their friends and their friends too) and all working hard to break the cycle and live a healthy alcohol free life! 

Good Bye. 

This girls journey to serenity…

My Truth

Open Letter to The Reader of My Blog…

Dear Reader of This Girls Journey to Serenity- 

If you have read one post or all 95 (including this one) I can not thank you enough. You taking the time to read about my thoughts and feeling about recovery.  This journey is amazing. I love when your like a post and the feedback from comments have been so awesome. It has been unexpected and wonderful. 

I started this journey because I needed an outlet of being able to work out my thoughts and feeling in a safe place…..haha yeah great idea of posting on the Internet my deepest darkest thoughts, hurts and struggles …..who knew that I would find support and encouragement and that it can be a safe place. 

Your encouragement fills me up and my cup (or umbrella) overflows with love and gradatude. 


My friends just didn’t understand or know how to help when all I really needed was someone to listen. 

 I get to be honest and real and genuine and confused and frustrated and sad and hopeful and get to write about whatever is on my heart at that moment. 

I get to say out loud how God is working in my life. 

I get to use my art work in ways I never knew when I painted most of them. 

I have found my voice of sharing my story through blogging about it. I plan on giving my testimony around the one year mark at my Celebrate Recovery Meeting in February. I’m debating on if I should post it. Time will tell. I am leading a meeting in a couple weeks and I am so excited for that. I will post that one I think. It’s a good one of I don’t say so myself. 

I think if you have read a few of my posts, you know who I am. I write like how I talk. One of my recovery meeting friends reads my blog and she told me that she can hear my voice as she’s reading it. I love that. 

My sponsor can’t believe that I blog my journey and is always saying how amazing it is that I am so willing to be real and share with others my story. Oh and by the way, she cried when she read my letter to her and so did my BFF. 

This recovery thing…’s hard work. But man oh man is it worth the effort. 

Thank you so much for being on this ride with me, the best is yet to be. 

Much love and light 


My journey continues….

My Truth, Sober Living

Open Letter to My Sponsor…

I started Celebrate Recovery 9 months ago. 9 months ago next week, I took a 24 hour token. Stating that I was ready to commit to a new way of life and surrender my life and will to the loving care of God. 

The woman who would later become my sponsor is a program leader and the more the attended meeting and learned about her story the more I realized that our walk was very much alike and she is a beautiful example of a loving wife and mother in recovery. 

So one day, I took a chance and asked her to be my sponsor. And this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. She took my hand and said lets do this. 


Dear J –

You are so amazing as my sponsor. You ask me the right questions. You understand how I think. You call me out and lift me up. You remind me that I’m strong and special and am enough. You extend grace to me when I need it and allow me the opportunity to figure things out in my timing. 

You cry with me and for me. When you say ‘I’m so sorry’, I know you mean it to your core that you are so sorry for what happened to me. 

You kept me balanced when doing step 4 and supported me when I said I just wasn’t ready to finish my step 4 on my mom. Many hard conversations during that step. Many many tears and raw emotion.

I love that you love that I blog about my recovery journey. You are supporting me with leading my first meeting with a concept that inspired me that I found in a pod cast. And have been so supportive of me putting this teaching together. Your excitement gets me even more excited. 

This week we are starting a step study with a group of women. I’ve excited to dive deeper with you in this study and commitment to the program. 

Friendships that are born out of recovery are different from other friendships. We know so much about each other. We support each other in all aspects of my life. 

You have helped me reconginize where I need to create boundaries and have pointed out that I’ve made boundaries without even realizing it. 

I would not have made the process I have in 9 months without willingness and commitment for a better life and 2. your commitment to me and loving guidance. The perfect recipe for sponsor/sponsee. 

Thank you for walking along side me. For holding my hand and telling me how proud you are of me. 

Celebrate Recovery and the 12 steps are becoming part of who I am. It’s become natural and sometimes I catch myself using recovery lingo or phrases or a scripture reference and think to myself….wow look at that I understand now. Look at where I’m heading. It’s a beautiful thing. 

Continue on this journey with me, the best is yet to be. 

This girls journey to serenity continues….

My Truth

Open Letter to My BFF

My BFF and I have know each other for just over 16 years now. 

Our kids went to the same school and we were on the PTA together. We quickly got each other. We were both stay at home moms. We really didn’t fit the mold of plays groups and mommy and me this or that. 

We would talk everyday on the phone about everything and about nothing. 

We went to jazzersize together. And took an American Sign Language class together at the community center. And we worked together 2 summers I think it was at a kids summer day camp. 

She was with me through many days of deciding to leave my ex husband. And I was with her when her daughter was acting out. 

We have shared many laughs and many tears. 

I was with her when waiting for what could be scary test results and she was with me when my mom passed away. 

She was with me when I thought is was a great idea to give my now ex boyfriend a chance when no one else would. And she was with me when I finally figured out that it was the worst idea ever and I was afraid.

I was with her when her mother moved in……and moved out. 

We’ve made some good decisions and supported each other and some not so good decisions and supported each other. 

She’s that friend that would hold your hair while you were throwing up. And wipe your tears and say you are looked beautiful. 

 All these years, she has loved me anyway. She knows just about all my crap and loves me anyway. 

I got to teach her recovery lingo. And share with her what I’ve learned and helped her understand some of her own feelings and that is was totally normal. 

I’ve told her for years that she is better than family and is my sister my choice because we both have difficult sisters and we no longer talk to.  

I don’t know where I’d be without her and I am so very grateful to have her in my life. Always a phone call or text message away. 

Everyone needs a friend like her! 

you + me = BFF’s 4ever


Continue on this ride with me, the best is yet to be. 

This girls journey to serenity continues…