an aha moment…

I am teaching for the first time at my Celebrate Recovery (CR) meeting on Tuesday. The bulk of it was written weeks ago, I’ve reading it and rereading it ever since. I’ve practiced it out loud in the car during lunch. I’ve practiced on my sofa. I’ve practiced with my sponsor. And with another friend last night. I think I’m pretty prepared. 

This lesson is one I brought to the leaders and asked if I can teach because it meant so much to me when I heard a CR Podcast about it. 

I earn a living by talking to complete strangers about payroll over the phone and explain something fairly complicated in easy to understand terms. I’m used to that. I am not used to standing up infront of people and reading something to them. 

I was just about to practice one more time tonight and I had an aha moment. 

First I have to rewind my story a little…..

In late 2014, I reconnected with a guy I went to high school with. He was looking for a fresh start and I quickly fell for him as he told me everything I needed to hear. He moved in my home and crashed on my sofa. Things were simple and easy. He had a job. And then life happened and his hours got cut. And all hell broke loose. 

He started drinking for days…. weeks and then …..months. I kicked him out after days but chased after him and tried to save him from himself. And that started my crazy spiral of chaos from being in a codependent / addict relationship. 

During the months and months, he tried to stop drinking  for a few days here and there. We talked about Gods plan for us and we talked about one day we would be on a stage together sharing our recovery story. 

  
And now fast forward to today. A short year later, I will be on the stage sharing part of my story and teaching about avoiding relapse and putting together a plan. 

It just hit me that this was our plan together and that I’m about do it myself. This was part of Gods plan for me all along. My story is important. My story is one of hope and grace and finding joy in trails. My story is about connecting the dots of my life and putting the pieces together. It’s about trusting God and letting go. 

This girls journey to serenity…

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