2016 has been just an amazing year of understanding, digging deep and letting go.
The start of 2016, I felt so broken. I felt lost and alone. I felt that no one understood why I got myself into the mess that was 2015 and why I stayed so long. No one understood including me. I was afraid. Afraid of where I was, afraid of where I was going. I was frozen, afraid to look forward or back.
I had stated to go to Al-Anon but was struggling to be completely be onboard with the program. I met with a women from my Church who shared her story at 2 events I attended and I knew she would help point me in the right direction. She told me to find a Celebrate Recovery and that program has a way of drilling down and they will help guide me on my journey. And I am so grateful that I listened.
And now just days before the end of 2016….I feel like a completely different person.
This is some things I’ve learned in 2016.
I have learned to be CALM, after my life was taken over chaos.
I have learned to TALK about hard things. With my sponser, with my recovery family, with myself and with God.
I have learned to REST, when I need time to digest what I’m working on. It’s not a race.
I have learned to BE POSITIVE when my mind is wanting to see only the negative.
I have learned to SEE the joy that happens after a trial.
I have learned to be HONEST with my sponsor, my recovery family, myself and with God.
I have learned what HUMBLE means and what it feels like after I did my first teaching.
I have learned to be GRATEFUL for all the things that I have and not focus on what I don’t have.
I have learned to COPE with feelings. To allow myself to feel and move past those feelings. For so long I felt nothing.
I have learned to TRUST. Trust Gods plan for me and trust my recovery community with sharing my life with them. Trust myself to make healthy decisions.
I have learned to LISTEN because sometimes someone just wants to be heard and they don’t someone to fix something they just need someone to listen.
I have learned to FORGIVE. And most of all forgive myself. After all God forgives me so who am I not to do the same.
I have learned to have HOPE. Hope in recovey, hope in change. Hope for the future.
I have learned to CELEBRATE small victories like boundries or reacting to a similar situation in a healthy way.
I have learned how to feel HAPPY again.
I have learned how to FILL my own tank by doing things I love and I don’t have to rely on others to fill me up.
I have learned about the FREEDOM that working the steps and the Celebrate Recovery program holds when you work it because I am worth it.
What an amazing year of grace and love!!!
My journey to serenity continues…
I painted to pic used in this post.