For a long time I have asked myself ‘if I had a super power, what would it be?’
My answer has been the same for as long as I’ve asked. If I had a super power I would want to freeze time. To stay longer in a place and time. To enjoy the moment. To be able to do things that I just don’t have time for now.
So that got me thinking the last few days. How I have used time, wished it away (fast forward) or reflecting on the past (rewind), wished I could rewind just 30 seconds to say something differently or turn left and not right. But I am getting a head of my myself, let me think out each one….
PAUSE – I’d love to have a pause button. To stay a little longer in a happy place. To enjoy my sons concert, or play or scout event for just a little longer. To paint for a little longer. To be at a meeting and enjoy the music for little longer. To be in an embrace for that much longer. To fellowship for that much longer.
REWIND – I have looked at times in my past and replayed it. It’s like watching a movie. I want to yell Mar, turn left and not right, don’t chase him, it wasn’t your fault, let him find his bottom. Rewinding gives us the benefit of knowing the outcome. Knowing how that chapter ends and then seeing how it started and why I ended up where I did.
FAST FORWARD – I hate to wish days away, but there have been times when I couldn’t wait until the end of day or week. I’ve wanted to hurry up and get to something so that it was over. Because the anticipation of how its going to end is almost too much.
REWIND 30 SECONDS – Ever said something you regretted? Ever made a decision and within seconds wish you hadn’t? Ever turned right but you know you should have turned left? I can answer yes to all of those things. Wouldn’t it be amazing to suck those words back in from the word bubble above my head and say it differently?
PLAY – is living in the moment, rolling with what life brings your way. Living with recovery means living in the truth. Remembering that God is in control. Living in recovery is owning my part and saying I’m sorry if I’ve said or did something unkind. Living in recovery means hope and trust. Living in recovery means openness. Living in recovery means the truth of with God I have the power to change and I should expect to change. Living in recovery means sanity over chaos. Living in recovery means living in action. Living in recovery means letting go and understanding. I like living in recovery.
So I guess I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need the power power of freezing time because life with recovery is so much better living in pause.
My journey to serenity continues…