When I started the Step Study with a small group of women from Celebrate Recovery, one of the leaders opened with a daily meditation from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was so perfect for that night. The reading was about denial and it ended with ‘God, help me feel safe and secure enough today to accept what I need to accept’.
I try to remember to read each day from this book but I don’t always remember. Today’s reading is called Growth. It talks about when we are little we grow out of cloths or toys and as adults ‘we wonder why someone or something that was so special and important to us last year doesn’t fit the same way in our lives today’ I have started to wonder that very thing the further I get away from the choas.
It ends with ‘Today, I will let last years toys be what they were: last years toys. I will remember them with fondness for the part they played in my life. Then, I will put them away and make room for the new’
I’ve shared here before and I shared last week at my Step Group that I am grateful for 2015 as the experiences as awful as they were, got to this place today. That had I not been there, I wouldn’t be here just a short year later.
2016 has been a year of growth and understanding. A year of connecting the dots and letting go. Year of healing my broken heart.
Not long ago I was reminded of kintsugi. According to Wikipedia….’Kintsugi (‘golden joinery’), also known as Kintsukuroi (‘golden repair’), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum, a method similar to the maki-e technique. As a philosophy, it treats breakage and repair as part of the history of an object, rather than something to disguise.’
The broken parts of me are being healed everyday because of Gods love for me and my understanding of the 12 steps and letting go. It’s part of my story, my history.
What I love most about being in a 12 step program is that I am learning to live an authentic life. And want more of that around me.