What I’ve learned This Year

2016 has been just an amazing year of understanding, digging deep and letting go. 

The start of 2016,  I felt so broken. I felt lost and  alone. I felt that no one understood why I got myself into the mess that was 2015 and why I stayed so long. No one understood including me. I was afraid. Afraid of where I was, afraid of where I was going. I was frozen, afraid to look forward or back. 

I had stated to go to Al-Anon but was struggling to be completely be onboard with the program. I met with a women from my Church who shared her story at 2 events I attended and I knew she would help point me in the right direction. She told me to find a Celebrate Recovery and that program has a way of drilling down and they will help guide me on my journey. And I am so grateful that I listened. 

And now just days before the end of 2016….I feel like a completely different person. 

This is some things I’ve learned in 2016. 

  
I have learned to be STRONG, when all I wanted to do is cry. Crying is my default reaction when I feel overwhelmed. 

I have learned to be CALM, after my life was taken over chaos. 

I have learned to TALK about hard things. With my sponser, with my recovery family, with myself and with God.

I have learned to REST, when I need time to digest what I’m working on. It’s not a race. 

I have learned to BE POSITIVE when my mind is wanting to see only the negative. 

I have learned to SEE the joy that happens after a trial. 

I have learned to be HONEST with my sponsor, my recovery family, myself and with God. 

I have learned what HUMBLE means and what it feels like after I did my first teaching. 

I have learned to be GRATEFUL for all the things that I have and not focus on what I don’t have. 

I have learned to COPE with feelings. To allow myself to feel and move past those feelings. For so long I felt nothing.

I have learned to TRUST. Trust Gods plan for me and trust my recovery community with sharing my life with them. Trust myself to make healthy decisions.

I have learned to LISTEN because sometimes someone just wants to be heard and they don’t someone to fix something they just need someone to listen. 

I have learned to FORGIVE. And most of all forgive myself. After all God forgives me so who am I not to do the same. 

I have learned to have HOPE. Hope in recovey, hope in change. Hope for the future. 

I have learned to CELEBRATE small victories like boundries or reacting to a similar situation in a healthy way.

I have learned how to feel HAPPY again. 

I have learned how to FILL my own tank by doing things I love and I don’t have to rely on others to fill me up. 

I have learned about the FREEDOM that working the steps and the Celebrate Recovery program holds when you work it because I am worth it. 

What an amazing year of grace and love!!! 

My journey to serenity continues…

I painted to pic used in this post. 

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