My Truth

Will my heart ever be the same???

Will my heart ever be the same??? 

I have forever been changed from the unhealthy relationships I’ve been in.

I have forever been changed by the love and support God has shown to me.

But what has changed between the last unhealthy relationship and now…..I have changed. 

I have had enough and I am willing to try to live life differently. 90 days ago, I said out loud that I am powerless over being codependent. 

 

 90 days of truly believing that only God can restore me to sanity. 90 days of turning my life and will over to the care of God. 

91 days ago, there was some small part of me that was wanting to talk to and somehow figure out a way to repair my relationship with my ex boyfriend, who hurt me in so many ways. 91 days ago I was still hiding the truth from myself and everyone who loves me about that happened last year and the pain I was in. 

91 days ago, I had to make it stop. My life and mind was so out of control trying to control everything but controlling nothing.  Wanting it to end but clinging to what I thought was. 

90 days ago I said YES to me. 90 days ago I said YES to digging deep on how I got to that place and how I never want to be there again. 

90 beautiful days of distance between where I was and where I’m heading. 90 days closer to finding the real authentic Mar and who I am meant to be.  

Will my heart ever be the same…..no, it won’t. That heart only understood disfunction, control, codependency and unhealthy boundaries. And I’m not there anymore. 

My journey to serenity continues….

I created the artwork used in this post. If you are wondering I painted the background black, hot glued crayons in the shape of a heart and used a hair dryer to melt the crayons. It’s really messy so do it outside with cardboard all around =] 

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