My Truth

You don’t heal a broken heart by pretending it’s not broken…

Penn & Teller did a show call Bullshit on Showtime from 2003-2010. I’ve always loved Penn & Teller. The show debunked a wide range of popular misconceptions. From talking to the dead to bottled water to pet love to the end of the world. Adult content for sure. Not for the easily offended.  And while I didn’t always agree with their point of view it was entertaining.

1.01 Season One Episode One was Talkng to the dead. My Dad had just passed away. John Edward was all over TV and I was curious. Knowing it was bullshit but curious. At the end of the episode Penn said ‘You don’t heal a broken heart by pretending it’s not broken’. Which I have never forgotten.

  

My heart is broken from my parents passing. I had lost both my parents by age 39. A blessing to have them so long a I did because know several people who lost their parents when they were teenagers. That fact doesn’t lesson my hurt but gives me perspective. 

My heart is broken from my ex-husband. He is who he is and was unsupportive and selfish. It breaks my heart every time he disappoints our children. Every time he changes plans at the last minute. Every time he says something mean spirited. Every time he says something unkind about me……he hurts our kids, my heart and his long term relationship with our kids. 

My heart is broken from my ex-boyfriend. He lied to me about who he was and what we were together. He told me everything that I wanted/needed to hear. He hurt me emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually and any other kind of ally word. 

My heart is broken from myself. I am mad at myself for allowing my life to get so out of control because of someone else’s addiction. 

I can’t heal my heart by pretending it’s not broken by these things. Talking/writing about these things puts them in the light. Puts them in perspective. Makes them small and not the giant pile of secret feelings in the closet. 

My journey to serenity continues…