My Truth

Meetings…

I have been to over 150 meetings over the past 19 months. Between my core group meetings,  my step group meetings and a few other group meeting to find the right program for me.

Going to meetings is a BIG commitment. Commitment of time and of working your program. Committing to yourself. 

The format for my core meeting is we have dinner. This allows time to fellowship and meet with your sponsor or accountability partner. And for those who don’t have time to run home to eat, it’s perfect.  30 minutes of worship music is next. Followed by 30 minutes of either a lesson or a testimony. And then gender based share groups and that can be an hour. 

It’s amazing to me that no matter what is heavy on my mind and heart, I always hear the right thing, I always have the right conversation, I always learn something. 

There have been times I have missed a meeting, not very many but I have missed a meeting for good reasons like my sons birthday or school program but there have also been a few nights that I just didn’t want to go. And on some of those nights I’ve gone anyway and am so glad I did. And there was one or two nights that I didn’t go and I wish I had. I know that if I don’t want to go, that’s the night that I need to go. 

When you feel bad, you need a meeting! 

And there have been lots of nights, I can’t wait to go and hang out with my recovery family. A couple of weeks ago, we had a few new comers and had scheduled a video testimony. I approached the program coordinator and asked if I could speak. And of course she said yes. That I felt it was important to have a person and not a video for the new comers. I felt called to volunteer. I was feeling really good that night. And I am grateful that I did volunteer. 

When you feel good, the meeting needs you!!! 

It’s really important for those who have recovery to keep coming to meetings. It’s important because…..

  • It gives hope to others who are just starting on the road of recovery to see your success in the program. 
  • It keeps you working your program because……If you are not working your program, you are working on your relapse. 
  • The person who stops coming to meeting doesn’t get to hear about the person that stopped coming to meeting. 

It’s the PEOPLE that are attending meetings, volunteering to help set up, to make coffee, to speak, to clean up, those who listen and sharing with others is why programs like mine Celebrate Recovery are successful. 

Recovery people don’t just show up, THEY SHOW UP and live out step 12. 

So proud to be part of a recovery family. 

My journey continues….

I took the picture used in this post and used Font Candy to add the text.

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My Truth

No Need to Compare. My Race My Pace.Β 

Another amazing thing about people in recovery…. there is no need to compare. My race, my pace!!! And everyone in the room is there to cheer me on. Lifting me up when I need it. Giving support when I need to rest. 

I’m just another clown on the bus. No better. No worse. Just busy running my race at my pace.  And cheering on my friends who are busy running their race……at their pace. Lifting them up when they need it. Giving them support when they need to rest. 

My goal is to continue to grow and be better than yesterday. 

About a year and a half ago, someone I know pretty well started to go to a 12 step group for a couple of weeks. Knowing that I was attending a group as well. A few weeks after he started, he stopped going and said to me, I am not as bad as the other people in the room. I said that’s too bad, maybe you should try a different time and you may find people you connect better with. No he said, I’m fine. I don’t have a problem like they do. 

Yeah you don’t have their problem, you have you own. I don’t say that, it’s not my place. He will figure it out, in his timing or he won’t. His race, his pace. Needless to say, we are not really friends any more. And that’s ok.  


We are all just clowns on the bus. Once we figure out that we are no better or no worse and that we are all running our own races, even if some are running the wrong way or not running at all…. it makes life better because we stop comparing ourselves to others.  We don’t think we are better or worse. We just are who we are. 

Keep running your race and I’ll be there cheering you on. No matter the pace. 

Work your program. BUT never work it alone. Have a sponsor, go to meetings, work the steps. Be around others in recovery. 

Working side by side others in recovery is magical and powerful.  Cheering them on. Lifting them up and being of support to them, makes me a better me and allows me to work a better program. 

My journey to serenity continues…

Thanks Google Images for the pic of the clowns and the bus πŸ€‘πŸšŒπŸ’•

My Truth

no shame in my game…

I did an interview for another codependency blogger and will be featured in a few days. Pretty excited for that. One question that jumped out was…..Do you find being a codependent an embarrassing label? 

My answer may surprise some. I answered not at all and I’d like to explain more. 

I had never even heard the term codependency until late 2015. But I have been codependent for most of my life. It’s how I learned to cope, it’s what I thought Love looked like and for some time it served me well. That’s is until it didn’t and my life got completely out of control. 

Now that I have an understanding of codependency and where is came from for me, I have no shame around this term. 

The more people I met that struggle with this, the more I know that I am in good company. Men, women from all walks of life. Codependency for me has always come from a good place. A place of love and trying to protect someone. I know now this form of love is hurtful and doesn’t allow the other person involved to grow from the experience. 

Back 6 months ago or more, I want to a training event for Celebrate Recovery (CR). We were welcomed by a motorcycle group with CR Patches on their leather jackets with a big logo on the back that said ‘my chains are broken’. These men and women who on the surface not approachable but if you talk to them you know very quickly that they love the Lord and made the attendees feel welcomed and excited to be there. Was another example of not judging others. 

Just like during my regular meeting, I heard many of them introduce themselves just like I do…hi my name is —-, I’m a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and I struggle with codependency, YES! I’m in such good company. 

I am not ashamed of this label or being part of a recovery group. 

I carry my recovery tokens on my key chain. Recently, because of my tokens, I had the opportunity to talk to complete strangers about what they meant. And both times the person who asked took the time to share with me where they were in life and what they wanted to change. What a blessing to them and to me! 

No shame in my game!!! 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

Get Plugged InΒ 

I attended a great Celebrate Recovery (CR) meeting last night. 

If you don’t know CR it’s a Christian Based blended issue 12 step program. I’ve been attending every week for just over a year now. It’s amazing. 

The format includes one week is a testimony and the next week is a teaching. This week was a teaching on Sanity which is Step 2. We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 

There was a great illustration that I want to share. 

A light bulb by itself is fragile. It’s easily broken and doesn’t really function very well or at all alone. 

But when you plug in a light bulb, suddenly it’s hard to break, it has purpose, it lights the way and with its power (higher power) it functions very well. 


How do I get and stay plugged in….

  • Attending CR meetings, keeps me plugged in.  
  • Being part of a step study, keeps me plugged in. 
  • Going to leadership training, keeps me plugged in. 
  • Reaching out to my recovery sisters, keeps me plugged in.
  •  Working the steps, keeps me plugged in. 
  • Sharing my story, keeps me plugged in. 
  • Engaging others before and after a meeting to fellowship, keeps me plugged in. 

I love being plugged in. I love knowing Jesus Christ loves me. That I matter to Him. And that He has the power to restore my life to sanity. How do I know this is true…..look what’s happened in my life this past year as I’ve let go and let God. 

My journey continues…

this girls journey to serenity 

The picture used in this post, is my hallway. I love the lights hanging from the ceiling. I’ve had them there for a couple of years now. And you can see some of my artwork is on the wall =] 

My Truth

Β YOUR FAULT VS YOUR PART

I went to my Celebrate Recovery meeting last night. Over the past almost 100 days the people who attend have become such an amazing source of support, love, understanding and wisdom. There is so much to be said about being around people that are where you are headed. 

I learn so much in every meeting. I learn so much before and after the meeting during time of fellowship. 

I had a conversation with 2 others about codependency and then we talked about sometimes when you are talking to someone not in recovery about what’s going on in our life they want to help fix it. And sometimes you just want to have someone listen and not help. Just listen. 

I said that’s the best part about coming to a meeting and sharing. During the sharing time, it’s an opportunity for someone to share about whatever is going on in their life. Good, struggle, a praise or a concern. No one can interrupt you. No one can ‘help’ you fix it. No one can say what you are feeling is stupid. And sometimes all someone needs is to say out loud what they are feeling. Sometimes giving a feeling a voice is all you need. Sometimes all you need it to think something out loud and work it out yourself. 

During the core meeting the teaching was about taking your inventory and the parts of doing an fearless inventory. One section is ‘my part’. So during the conversation after the meeting, we talked about the difference between Your Fault and Your Part. Fault is an acknowledgement of guilt. 

  

While Your Part is how your actions contributed to it. Being in an addict/codependent relationship, it’s a dance of action and reaction between the two people. 

I was happy to hear and understand this distinction because it gives me permission to stop feeling so guilty and shameful about last year. Yes I played a part, my reactions were clearly unhealthy and codependent, but it was not my fault. 

My journey to serenity continues….