Tag Archives: God

At The End Of Me…

Life is different since I started living life with the 12 steps and working a program. The first 3 steps are admitting that I am powerless over my compulsive behaviors and my life is unmanageable, that I believe that a power greater than myself (Jesus Christ) can restore me to sanity and I have made the decision to turn my life and my will over to the care of God. 
At the end of me…..I found you there. 


Clearly my plan and way of coping with life wasn’t working and I was spinning further and further into chaos and further and further away from God.

And then I hit my bottom….at the end of me….I found you there. 

God has sent the most amazing faith filled women to join me on the journey. For me to witness their walk with God and watch them walk the walk and talk the talk. They are amazing role models. 

At the end of me…..I found you there. 

We are not made to walk a recovery journey alone. Friendships born from recovery, sponsor and accountability partners. We walk together. There is safety in safe numbers. 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

And one of my favorite passages. 

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.

My journey to serenity continues and I am grateful for at the end of me…..I found you there. 

Message in a bottle…

A letter of encouragement to myself. 

Mar, 

First please know that last year wasn’t our fault. We had 46 years that took us to this moment in time. Please know that we are stronger than you would ever admit to anyone least of all yourself. Our intentions during that time were from a positive caring place. And know that I am so proud of us. 

Second, I am so sorry he hurt us. In all the ways he did. It wasn’t our fault, it’s his. Let go of that burden. He owns that shit. If it were not for his actions none of this would have happened the way it went down.

Keep writing, it’s helping to get all these feelings and experiences up and out. Let it be heard from the roof top what happened and how hard we are working to heal all those parts of our heart. And sharing our journey  is helping others, it is. Read the comments other people are posting. 

 
At times it feels so heavy to keep carrying all this with you. Remember worry does not change outcome . Leave our hurts and burdens at Gods feet. He is in control. Let Him take care of it in His perfect timing. 

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Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Lamentations 3:25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.

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Have you noticed how many people have said how nice it is to see your smile again or back to yourself. Or the person who told said I was like a different person than last year. 

Keep up the great work. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Keep reading. Keep going to meetings. Keep hanging around people in recovery. Keep talking. Keep your head up. Keep seeking God.

Now you have to do us a favor. 

I know I’m right because I’m crying writing this…..it’s time…..it’s time to feel that you are enough. Perfectly imperfect just how you are today. Know that we always were enough. 

 You know how you see and feel about the boys….making mistakes, growing, figuring out who they are, so proud it makes you cry….THAT is how God sees His precious daughter Mar.

Always-

Me

My journey to serenity continues…

I painted the pic used in this post and used Font Candy to add the text. =]