There’s layers of hurts, habits and hang-ups to work out and once you heal and pull away one layer there is something new revealed.
But I think this is an incomplete picture of what my (and I’m sure many others) recovery looks like.
Yesterday I went to Sunflower Farm with a group of recovery friends. Sunflowers at sunset. It was delightful. I’ve been there several times but no one else had and to watch them enjoy the farm, filled my heart.
I was looking at my pictures and found a different and I think a better way to describe my recovery other than an onion.
Recovery is like a sunflower.
Have you ever seen a sunflower bloom? Well, I took these pics and will explain my recovery journey.
Starting off, I felt closed in. Lonely and not focusing on anything else but my own pain.
I started opening up. Trusting the people in recovery with my hurts. Being willing to be open. To heal what hurt and change my behaviors.
And as I worked the 12 Steps and the 8 Principles of Celebrate Recovery to the best of my ability, I opened up more and more. Revealing who I am. My true self.
Seeing for myself, who I was becoming. Understanding the gifts that God gave me and putting these gifts into practice.
Seeing those around me, for who they are, who they are becoming and watching with delight, watching them bloom.
But here’s the thing about recovery. Well mine anyway. I’m not done yet. i don’t think I will ever be done. I may have healed what initially got me into recovery, blooming, using my gifts and I’m walking along side others but life happens.
I will get stung. I will get hurt. But I also know that first I have healed before and second, I have a recovery community, a forever family to stand with me. I am never alone. And I am loved.
And look what a gorgeous pattern in the center of sunflower. God is amazing. Just like he knows every hair on my head, He made these beautiful flowers with nothing overlooked. No detail too small.
I have found freedom from my past hurts and decisions. And I will continue to work my program to the best of my ability so that I can continue to bloom.
Ever thought about what they say in the safety message when you take a trip on an airplane. And how it applies to life outside that flight? I have.
They say something like, ‘In the unlikely event we lose oxygen. Oxygen masks will drop down from above your seat. Place the mask over your mouth and nose. Make sure that your own mask is on first before helping others.’
Why do they say this? Because when we must take care of ourselves first before we are able to take care of others.
Imagine in the plane, if the person next to you was struggling and then you helped them, now you are suddenly struggling. And the both of you panic and can’t figure it out. It can happen so quickly.
Self-care starts and ends with God and His will for our lives.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
I love that, ‘be transformed by the renewing of your mind.’ And of course ‘His good, pleasing and perfect will.’
Truly trusting God and His will for my life is transforming. I’ve seen it first hand in others and I’ve lived it.
Self care does not come easy to me. For a long time, I ran until I was empty having nothing left for myself. Self care sounded selfish. I wasn’t getting my my needs met so I’d fill up all of my time with taking care of others. In all parts of life.
But now I have a new perspective. I need to put my own oxygen mask on. I need to fill myself up with healthy habits. We can’t pour from an empty cup.
Attending meetings is part of my weekly self-care routine. I’m a better me and am able to serve my family, friends, Church, Celebrate Recovery and work. Prayer and journaling daily are also part of my routines. I guess it’s living Steps 10-12 or Celebrate Recovery Principles 8 and 9.
Ready to take some action steps and make self care a priority? Tell me about it!
If you have read any of my other posts, you know that alcoholism is not my issue. But I have been around it my entire life.
This post is from my point of view. The person loving the person who struggles with alcoholism and what their behaviors look like.
One thing I didn’t realize is it’s not the same for everyone. Which seems funny to say because it just isn’t. But I really didn’t realize how different the behaviors could be until I experienced it with different people in my life.
Growing up in the home of an alcoholic, I witnessed a high functioning alcoholic. One who was successful professionally. Maintained a home and provided for the family. And most people would have never known looking in from the outside.
My mom died from cirrhosis. It was the most terrible thing I have ever witnessed. Fluid backed up and had to be drained. Her skin cracked on her legs and fluid dripped out. It was terrible. She was shutting down from the inside out.
The man I married, drank nightly just like I experienced growing up. But he also used his words carelessly and was mean and thoughtless after drinking. There were times he was embarrassing to be around while he thought he was the funniest person in the room.
A turning point for me when I realized that this was a bigger problem, was when he was drinking at inappropriate times. Using a big gulp cup to cover that he was drinking something much harder than a soda. And telling the kids that it was ‘daddy’s drink’. Or having a flask at the pumpkin patch became normal for him.
A few years after my divorce, I got into a relationship with an alcoholic. He was a white knuckling alcoholic. Sober by forcing it but that didn’t last long.
He was a binge drinker. Black out drunk daily. Unable to keep a job. Hiding alcohol. Planning his next trip to the liquor store. Buying a small bottle cause ‘it’s the last one, I promise’. But then going back a few hours later for the next last one. Withdrawing. Needing to drink to stop the withdrawal. Hospitalized. Arrested. I became afraid of his unpredictable behaviors and was issued a protective order.
And my friend. Lying about where she was. Or how much she had to drink. Kinda wanting to stop but was just not ready to give it up.
As you see there is a wide range of behaviors and what alcoholism looks like in each person I have known who struggles with alcoholism.
The basic definition of Alcoholism is the inability to control drinking due to both a physical and emotional dependence on alcohol.
What all these people have in common is they each used alcohol to cope with life. That alcohol numbs feelings. And covers up deep hurts of the past.
Alcoholism stole my mom away from me.
Alcohol changed who people I loved were.
Alcohol lied to the people in my life that with alcohol, life is better.
I have also seen what it looks like to break the chains of alcoholism. And they are the most amazing people I know.
I know that all of us do the best we can with what we know at the time. And when we know a different way, we do better. I have seen it, I have lived it with my own struggles of depression, codependency and body image.
There’s a better life.
If you’ve got pain, He’s a pain taker. If you feel lost, He’s a way maker. If you need freedom or saving. He’s a prison shaking savior. If you got chains. He’s a chain breaker.
So who is He? He is Jesus Christ. And He wants to be in relationship with us. Not only that but He wants us to live our best life. To heal the pain of the past and live and love in today.
It takes a lot of work and action to break the chains of any past hurt. But I know personally and witness everyday that all things are possible with Jesus.
I do have to acknowledge that not everyone breaks the chains. My mom, she found freedom in heaven. At least that is what I believe. I wish that was different but it wasn’t what happened.
I find comfort in knowing she is free now. Rereading those song lyrics….He’s a pain taker….she’s no longer in pain. He took the pain away in a different way than I’ve thought about before.
In this world of uncertainty that we have found ourselves in, I started feeling anxious and overwhelmed while at the grocery store tonight.
I walked down aisle after aisle and found empty shelves and choices were limited. I was hit in the face with how real this is. The restaurant in the same parking lot was empty and the coffee shop was dark.
I felt that I needed to remind myself of all the tools and new ways of coping with life when life happens that I have learned from WORKING a recovery program. Cause life is happening right now and while it’s a little unsettling, I know that this will not last forever and God is in control.
I used my tools right away, which was kinda cool that it came so naturally. I reached out to my sponsor and talked to her about how I was I was feeling and why I felt this way. And I found out, that she was feeling the same way. Having a sponsor, accountability partner or trusted friend to talk to is just so important. I know I am not alone in my feelings.
Here are some other things that are on top of my toolbox:
🔨 Eating well. Comfort food is called that for a reason. Often is not the best choice but sure makes me feel good. Adding healthy options like a salad or veggies is a plus. I also tend not to eat and go for long periods of time without eating. So I need to keep planning meals so it’s something I don’t have to think about. I have it written down and know what to do next without having to think about. Making smart food choices will keep me healthy.
🔧 Take meds. Always take your meds as prescribed. It might be a good idea to take a vitamin too.
🔩 Exercise. Now that gyms are closing to practice social distancing, there are still lots of options. Can be as simple as going out for a walk. Or going up and down the stairs at home. Or there are tons of online resources on YouTube for workouts at home. If you have a gym membership, they may even have resources on their website or Facebook group. Or how about putting on your favorite music and just dancing!
🔨 Read. Lots of options here too. From the serenity prayer to the 12 steps and 8 principles (Celebrate Recovery) Can all be found on the CR app or online. The Holy Bible app is another really good one to download. There are many suggestions on the home page of the one I use has references hope and anxiety or I can search programs. Or I have even googled ’what does the Bible say about —- ’ to find really good verses on that topic or feeling. Can always read other stuff too but there are my go.
🔧 Journal. Journaling can help you sort out your feelings. Ask yourself, have I felt this way before? When? Why am I feeling this way? How did I cope last time? Did that help? Why or why not. Tons of journaling books available if you need props too.
🔩 Get creative. I enjoy painting but I recently discovered diamond painting which is kinda mindless yet fun. Sometimes I struggle with ideas on what to paint so diamond painting takes the pressure off. Think about what you enjoyed doing as a kid. Did you like to color, crossword puzzles or draw? Give those a try again. You may find a new (old) hobby.
🔨 Write a thank you or thinking of you note. Send an email or text and check on someone else. Let them know you are thinking about them. Set up a call and share a cup of coffee by phone.
🔧 Do and act of kindness. I cleaned out a cabinet over the weekend and found a few board games that we hadn’t used in years. So I posted on my neighborhood Facebook group and set them outside. They were gone within an hour.
🔩 My 100 things list. One of the first things my sponsor had me do was write a list of 100 positive words that described myself. This took me a month and I asked my friends for help and I use the thesauruses. But when it gets in my head that I am not enough, I reread these words to remind myself who I really am.
If you need a place to start, here are some things God says about us from a Bible study I did:
I am blessed
I am chosen, forgiven, favored and accepted
I am made in Gods image
I am His child
I am victorious and strengthened by Him
I am healed, new, delivered, set free and redeemed
I am complete
I am fearfully and wonderfully made
I am His masterpiece
And I am loved
🔨 Listen to Music. Have a playlist on your phone or listen to on of your favorites on YouTube and that song will lead to the next and you just may find a new favorite one.
🔧 You can meditate – there’s an app for that too. I use the free version of ABIDE. It’s a prayer meditation style app which has a list of topics from anger, anxiety to fear or hope. These are short just 2-5 minutes meditations.
Using these 🔨 🔧 🔩 will keep me connected. Connected to God. Connected to myself and my program and connected to others.
This is my final thought.
From Philippians 4: 8-9
And now dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right and pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you.
And the God of peace will be with you….another word for peace is serenity. And the God of serenity will be with you.
Stay well. Stay positive. Take things one day at a time. Stay connected and go wash your hands.
I was drowning in his addiction. It was all consuming. It impacted every part of my life. I didn’t know how to stop the merry-go-round of addict and enabler.
I knew it wasn’t right but I kept going back. Kept waiting for him to hit his bottom. I knew I was hurting myself but I ignoring that part and only focused on him. Seeing myself from the outside, screaming don’t go see him….cut him off….walk away. But I couldn’t hear it.
I would have those thoughts and then think, this is the time. This is when he hits his bottom and we would bounce up from there. That I would walk away and this time he would get sober and stay sober. I’d think back to the good days and want those days back. That if I walked away, I’d miss it and not being part of it.
There’s not only the fact that I prevented him from growing and learning from his actions and the consequences from those actions. But I was also putting myself in harms way. My poor decisions were impacting the world around me and I couldn’t stop it.
Until I hit my bottom. I walked away and have never looked back. I kept putting one foot in front of the other. Kept making the next right choice for me. I was craving more for me and for my life.
As I worked through this I had to ask myself some hard questions. How did THIS become my life. How WAS it ok with me to not only put myself in this relationship but why did it stay ok? That this is a good as it gets and what I deserved? Was I so lonely that THAT life became ok? Why did I NEED to be needed and being needed meant love. Why did that feel like love? HOW and WHY did my worth become based on fixing someone else. So many hard questions that key to the answers were threaded back in my entire life.
I was drowning in his addiction.
But I’m not drowning anymore. I have bounced up from my bottom. I have found myself. I found it wasn’t ok. I found that that was far from as good as it gets. I found I deserved so much more. I found that it wasn’t that I was lonely, it was that was the path I was on. If it wasn’t him it would have the next guy who was an alcoholic.
I found I don’t need to be needed. I found that love doesn’t have to look like that. I found that my value is not in fixing someone else but in who I am and who I am to God. I found that had I not been there, I wouldn’t be here. I would take my worst day now over my best day there.
And being here, I am finally living into who I was always meant to be. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I serve in ways that use my God given gifts and talents. I walk along side others with healthy boundaries. I ‘do life’ with an awesome support system. And I am grateful.
I think I’ve stumbled on my new normal. Lots going on and some changes too but I’m finding that I’m using tools I’ve learned and been applying to my life.
My day starts and ends in prayer. Been doing that faithfully since the start of the year. Every morning I call a friend and we pray together. I’ve never done that before. It’s pretty cool. It’s a wonderful way to start the day.
I’ve ended the day in prayer off and on for a while but now doing this constantly. Gratitude for the day and whatever specifically happened that day and doing a daily inventory occupy that time.
My new normal is full of tools that I’ve been developing for the last 4 years. They are starting to be a natural response and easier to tell someone what I need or to set a boundary.
I have an awesome support system in place. I turn to them when I need to process or support. Just to check in or just to say hello.
I am choosing to let go of a few things in my life that keep me busy and while it fills my tank there are parts that I don’t enjoy and it drains me. I did a lesson at CR a week or so ago on powerlessness. In the lesson, it says when our pain is greater than our fear, that we when we make a change. And while there is not pain in this situation, it takes my energy. So as I figured out that the drain on my life was at a faster rate then what it filled. It was time to make a change.
This is already making room for me to say yes to other things that fill me up. And be around more people with similar interests and that want to do stuff together.
I’m just going to enjoy this new normal and see what God has planned for me in this next chapter.
The serenity prayer has hit my heart again tonight but this time it’s……Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have.
This sentence hits home all the time for me. Reminding me that I am not in control and I cannot control what others do/say/feel/respond. It reminds me that even Jesus couldn’t control this sinful world.
I had a conversation with one of my sons tonight about how his feeling were hurt. I reminded him that he is allowed to feel hurt. Then we talked about the situation from the other persons point of view and maybe they thought they were doing the right thing too and didn’t realize how he would feel.
I have many examples of this but I’ll illustrate this with this example…. Several years ago, I was invited to dinner with a small group. My brother and his wife would have typically been invited as well but this time they were not. My sister in law was very sick and in a wheelchair. It seemed better to not invite them given the circumstances.
My brother was hurt when he saw the pics posted on social media. From my point of view it seemed like it would be very difficult for them to come and from his point of view, he wanted the choice of saying it was too difficult.
You see there was a lot of things that my brother couldn’t control at the time and by me not giving him the choice to say yes or no, it hurt him.
I learned a valuable lesson from this experience.
I learned about not making decisions for others based on how I wanted something to go or how I would have it. Not that I didn’t want him there, that’s not it at all. I thought it was easier to not invited them because it was easier on them to not have to say no.
But in a world of not being in control, choices are really important. And taking someone’s choice away, well it’s just not right.
I’ve been a lot of thinking about this lately. Looking at things from the other persons point of view. It’s a really good perspective. Helps keep me grounded. That sometime someone’s insensitivity isn’t done intentionally but rather done from a place of caring or not realizing the impact it would have on us.
Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have.
Accepting things as what it is, not as I would have it.
And then the serenity prayer goes on to say…TRUSTING that YOU will make all things right if I surrender to YOUR will.
I love the Serenity Prayer. So much wisdom and simple truth. I’ve written about this powerful prayer before but I wanted to focus on one part…courage to change the things I can.
Change takes courage. We sometimes get stuck in the familiar. While something is not ideal, it’s comfortable in some ways. Sometimes it’s the ‘devil that we know’. We don’t change because of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the what if’s. Fear of uncertainty. Fear to fail. Fear to succeed. Fear of judgement. Fear of disappointing others. The list goes on and on.
Fear is healthy. Its purpose is to give you pause. It’s a gut check. Is this safe to move forward? But when fear keeps you stuck, it becomes unhealthy.
Change takes courage.
There has been many times in my life I have been afraid to make to change. Stuck in places of my life that I was not happy about. But I have made changes and it’s better than I can imagine. And there’s even been a some times that the change wasn’t great and became a stepping stone to the next change. I guess it’s not always a one step process. I guess most things actually aren’t a one step process. After all life is not a success only Journey.
So there’s something not working in my life that I can change and now I have a choice to make. I need to make a change.
Courage to change the things I can.
Decisions on making a change does not have to be done alone.
Pray, ask for wisdom, courage and God’s will
Seek wise counsel
Talk to a professional
Ask for support from healthy and trusted friends and family
I am not alone even when there are times I feel like I am. I’m working on those 4 bullet points. Trying to find the courage to change the things I can.
I’m reading this amazing book about grief. I have learned quiet a bit. I have made some new connections and have a better understanding of my own grief.
A few years ago, I asked a client how she was doing (knowing she just lost her job and was putting one foot on front of the other to get by) but I really wanted to know because I enjoyed working with her. She said ‘I don’t complain because I was always told, ‘I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”
This for sure gives an picture of empathy and to be grateful for what you have because someone always has it worse.
I hadn’t thought much about that quote after my conversation other than it was a good perspective. Until I read it in the book and it created a new point of view for me.
I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.
It implies that someone’s pain or hurt is more than another. That I shouldn’t cry because I have no shoes because someone else has it worse than I do. It also implies comparison of pain and hurt. That my pain is less than.
Grieving the loss on someone (although it can be many other things besides a person) is personal.
The relationship I had with my mother, for example, was different than the relationship my mother had with my each of my siblings. The pain I feel, is the pain I feel and the level of pain they feel, is the pain they feel.
And the pain that woman feels who lost their daughter that same day. That woman’s pain doesn’t make my pain any less.
And while it’s easy to look at both situations and say that mother who lost her daughter pain is worse than me the daughter who lost my mother. But is it? And really who cares, why are we comparing??? Both of these women are hurting and that’s the point. Both women lost someone they love, let’s meet them where they are and love them.
Let’s stop comparing pain. Let’s stop trying to fix each other by saying things like time heals because the truth is time doesn’t heal. It’s a big fat lie. Time only means it’s been longer that I’ve been in pain. Longer that I’ve missed my mom.
Not remembering until I saw it the other day and I was actually stunned to read it but I wrote on my mom’s memorial online…mom, I don’t know how to be here without you. This was just days after she died. And you know what I wrote last March on the 9th anniversary of her passing….mom, I don’t know how to be here without you. So time has not healed the pain I feel.
So yeah, I cried because I had no shoes. And I will cry for my friend who has no feet too.
Staying out of the extreme emotions or situations for me is now called boundaries. Extreme feelings can be dangerous territory.
So I have a plan in place for when those extremes enter my world.
Today I have struggled a bit. Lots on my mind. Lots on my plate.
Looking at what’s on my mind and place and deciding what is in my control and what is not. Lifting up those things that are not in my control to God to manange. Looking at what’s left.
I am familiar with these feelings of being overwhelmed or sad and when those feelings are extreme that is when it becomes a slippery slope towards depression.
So I have things in place to help me put on the breaks. These boundaries keep me safe and keep me from getting into a a dark head place. After all, walking around my head unattended is never a good thing.
So here are a few things that keep me out of the extremes:
Reach out to my sponsor 👭
Reach out to other friends in recovery 👭👭👭
Pause and meditate about what is going on
Use the essential oil diffuser (I’m loving the orange 🍊 and clove I have on tonight)
Do something for someone else
Do something for yourself 🙋
Go for a walk 🚶🏻♀️
Take pictures of flowers 🌺 or something else that makes you happy
Have a cup of tea or coffee ☕️
Sit outside and just listen to nature 🌳
Make something yummy to eat🍝
Read the Bible
Listen to music 🎼
Design my next tattoo
Take a bath 🛀🏻
Take a nap 😴
Go for a drive 🚗
——— fill in the blank and do something that makes you happy 😊
These things help me get to the next good day! Hope some of these things help you get to the next good day too.
This letter is for you. You who love an addict (no matter what they are addicted to) and your life is out of control and you are wondering how this became your life.
You who are wanting things to change. You desperately are wanting things to change. You don’t know how. You don’t even know where to start because everything is a freaking mess. You hate living like this. You are tired. And you are wanting but you don’t even know what you want. You just know it’s not this.
I see you.
I know your pain.
I was you.
Before I started attending a recovery program, I felt like I was drowning. I couldn’t breathe. Trapped in a situation that I didn’t cause or even understand and I can’t fix it.
I felt defeated, run over and used and sad that this is what my life had become. I was embarrassed and ashamed. How did this happen?
Walking into a meeting when you feel so undeserving is so hard. But there is this wanting that pushes you to do it anyway. That Wanting has been nudging you for a while now. Maybe you are like me and have gone to a few meetings but you have one foot in and one foot out of the program. Curious. But not fitting in, not buying in because you really are just not ready to be ready to change.
Let that wanting win. Listen to that little voice inside you and wants to change. Keep listening. Keep going. Keep putting one foot in until you are ready to go in with both feet.
Go to a meeting. Because you will find someone like me. Who was once just like you.
And I don’t remember if my sponsor actually said this but it’s sounds like her and like something she would say ……I will love you, until you love yourself again.
I could breathe again.
The healing began the minute I walked into my first Celebrate Recovery meeting. Because I was ready and desperately wanted a change.
I thought I was there for someone else but I was there for me. God knew. He goes before me. He knew I would be there that night and He made sure the right people were there for me. He knew all I needed and what my soul wanted was for someone to love me until I could love myself again.
So Wanting Soul, I know you are afraid. I was too. I know you want to change but you are afraid of that too, I was. But go anyway. Listen to that nudging. Take a chance on yourself and do it for you because you are worth it.
I’ll see you there. XXOO
My journey to serenity continues…
I took the picture used in this post and used Font Candy to add the text
I have been to over 150 meetings over the past 19 months. Between my core group meetings, my step group meetings and a few other group meeting to find the right program for me.
Going to meetings is a BIG commitment. Commitment of time and of working your program. Committing to yourself.
The format for my core meeting is we have dinner. This allows time to fellowship and meet with your sponsor or accountability partner. And for those who don’t have time to run home to eat, it’s perfect. 30 minutes of worship music is next. Followed by 30 minutes of either a lesson or a testimony. And then gender based share groups and that can be an hour.
It’s amazing to me that no matter what is heavy on my mind and heart, I always hear the right thing, I always have the right conversation, I always learn something.
There have been times I have missed a meeting, not very many but I have missed a meeting for good reasons like my sons birthday or school program but there have also been a few nights that I just didn’t want to go. And on some of those nights I’ve gone anyway and am so glad I did. And there was one or two nights that I didn’t go and I wish I had. I know that if I don’t want to go, that’s the night that I need to go.
When you feel bad, you need a meeting!
And there have been lots of nights, I can’t wait to go and hang out with my recovery family. A couple of weeks ago, we had a few new comers and had scheduled a video testimony. I approached the program coordinator and asked if I could speak. And of course she said yes. That I felt it was important to have a person and not a video for the new comers. I felt called to volunteer. I was feeling really good that night. And I am grateful that I did volunteer.
When you feel good, the meeting needs you!!!
It’s really important for those who have recovery to keep coming to meetings. It’s important because…..
It gives hope to others who are just starting on the road of recovery to see your success in the program.
It keeps you working your program because……If you are not working your program, you are working on your relapse.
The person who stops coming to meeting doesn’t get to hear about the person that stopped coming to meeting.
It’s the PEOPLE that are attending meetings, volunteering to help set up, to make coffee, to speak, to clean up, those who listen and sharing with others is why programs like mine Celebrate Recovery are successful.
Recovery people don’t just show up, THEY SHOW UP and live out step 12.
So proud to be part of a recovery family.
My journey continues….
I took the picture used in this post and used Font Candy to add the text.
Another amazing thing about people in recovery…. there is no need to compare. My race, my pace!!! And everyone in the room is there to cheer me on. Lifting me up when I need it. Giving support when I need to rest.
I’m just another clown on the bus. No better. No worse. Just busy running my race at my pace. And cheering on my friends who are busy running their race……at their pace. Lifting them up when they need it. Giving them support when they need to rest.
My goal is to continue to grow and be better than yesterday.
About a year and a half ago, someone I know pretty well started to go to a 12 step group for a couple of weeks. Knowing that I was attending a group as well. A few weeks after he started, he stopped going and said to me, I am not as bad as the other people in the room. I said that’s too bad, maybe you should try a different time and you may find people you connect better with. No he said, I’m fine. I don’t have a problem like they do.
Yeah you don’t have their problem, you have you own. I don’t say that, it’s not my place. He will figure it out, in his timing or he won’t. His race, his pace. Needless to say, we are not really friends any more. And that’s ok.
We are all just clowns on the bus. Once we figure out that we are no better or no worse and that we are all running our own races, even if some are running the wrong way or not running at all…. it makes life better because we stop comparing ourselves to others. We don’t think we are better or worse. We just are who we are.
Keep running your race and I’ll be there cheering you on. No matter the pace.
Work your program. BUT never work it alone. Have a sponsor, go to meetings, work the steps. Be around others in recovery.
Working side by side others in recovery is magical and powerful. Cheering them on. Lifting them up and being of support to them, makes me a better me and allows me to work a better program.
My journey to serenity continues…
Thanks Google Images for the pic of the clowns and the bus 🤡🚌💕