My Truth

Doing A Daily Inventory…

I’m working on giving a Celebrate Recovery lesson next week on Step 10.
I really enjoy preparing for lessons. I add myself to it with my life examples. I read things outside the prepared lesson for inspiration or deeper understanding or connection to the lesson. I get a lot out of

doing this for my own recovery process.

I had a trainer who always said at the start of a class, ‘You get what you give’. That always stuck with me. So the more I give to this process, the more I get. And then the more I can give away to others.

I really like the Step 10 Prayer from AA Big Book. page 84-85

God remove the Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear that has cropped up in my life right now. Help me to discuss this with someone immediately and make amends quickly if I have harmed anyone. Help me to cease fight anything and anyone. Show me where I may be helpful to someone else. Help me react sanely; not cocky or afraid. How can I best serve You – Your will, not mine

Amen

Truth is, I really like the AA Big Book step prayers in general.

I added this section to the lesson.

Do you track things you do daily? Like workouts or track food, track tasks or track taking medication, track recovery time or even likely the most common, track your weight?
Why do we do this?
Here are a few reasons that I came up with on why we track these things:
• If we don’t track, we will forget
• Find your baseline
• Reminds us how far we have come
• See improvements
• The psychological factor – creating a new habit
• Own your goals
• Celebrate Milestones
• Use the data to identify problems
• Keeps you accountable
• Tracking can push you to do more
• Keeping track, keeps you on track

One way to keep track of your good and bad behavior is to journal. A journal is a tool for you to review and write down the good and the bad things you did today.
I created a journaling page, that works for me because I never could find the right one. Some people prefer blank journals but that is too open for me, I need more structure. Some people like journals that ask questions and others may even rather use an app. There’s an app for that for sure! This tool has been a great help to my program no matter what type of journaling format used.
I have discovered behavior patterns that not otherwise been so obvious. Issues that I keep writing down again and again are something that needs to be addressed. Maybe with my sponsor or a counselor if needed. Then I am able to set up an action plan, with God’s help, to overcome them.

Here are screen shots of my Daily Inventory sheets. Take what you need and leave the rest! (The lines are wonky in these pics but you get the idea!)

If you are not journaling as a part of your journey, give it a go and tell me how it works for you.

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

Meetings…

I have been to over 150 meetings over the past 19 months. Between my core group meetings,  my step group meetings and a few other group meeting to find the right program for me.

Going to meetings is a BIG commitment. Commitment of time and of working your program. Committing to yourself. 

The format for my core meeting is we have dinner. This allows time to fellowship and meet with your sponsor or accountability partner. And for those who don’t have time to run home to eat, it’s perfect.  30 minutes of worship music is next. Followed by 30 minutes of either a lesson or a testimony. And then gender based share groups and that can be an hour. 

It’s amazing to me that no matter what is heavy on my mind and heart, I always hear the right thing, I always have the right conversation, I always learn something. 

There have been times I have missed a meeting, not very many but I have missed a meeting for good reasons like my sons birthday or school program but there have also been a few nights that I just didn’t want to go. And on some of those nights I’ve gone anyway and am so glad I did. And there was one or two nights that I didn’t go and I wish I had. I know that if I don’t want to go, that’s the night that I need to go. 

When you feel bad, you need a meeting! 

And there have been lots of nights, I can’t wait to go and hang out with my recovery family. A couple of weeks ago, we had a few new comers and had scheduled a video testimony. I approached the program coordinator and asked if I could speak. And of course she said yes. That I felt it was important to have a person and not a video for the new comers. I felt called to volunteer. I was feeling really good that night. And I am grateful that I did volunteer. 

When you feel good, the meeting needs you!!! 

It’s really important for those who have recovery to keep coming to meetings. It’s important because…..

  • It gives hope to others who are just starting on the road of recovery to see your success in the program. 
  • It keeps you working your program because……If you are not working your program, you are working on your relapse. 
  • The person who stops coming to meeting doesn’t get to hear about the person that stopped coming to meeting. 

It’s the PEOPLE that are attending meetings, volunteering to help set up, to make coffee, to speak, to clean up, those who listen and sharing with others is why programs like mine Celebrate Recovery are successful. 

Recovery people don’t just show up, THEY SHOW UP and live out step 12. 

So proud to be part of a recovery family. 

My journey continues….

I took the picture used in this post and used Font Candy to add the text.

My Truth

No Need to Compare. My Race My Pace. 

Another amazing thing about people in recovery…. there is no need to compare. My race, my pace!!! And everyone in the room is there to cheer me on. Lifting me up when I need it. Giving support when I need to rest. 

I’m just another clown on the bus. No better. No worse. Just busy running my race at my pace.  And cheering on my friends who are busy running their race……at their pace. Lifting them up when they need it. Giving them support when they need to rest. 

My goal is to continue to grow and be better than yesterday. 

About a year and a half ago, someone I know pretty well started to go to a 12 step group for a couple of weeks. Knowing that I was attending a group as well. A few weeks after he started, he stopped going and said to me, I am not as bad as the other people in the room. I said that’s too bad, maybe you should try a different time and you may find people you connect better with. No he said, I’m fine. I don’t have a problem like they do. 

Yeah you don’t have their problem, you have you own. I don’t say that, it’s not my place. He will figure it out, in his timing or he won’t. His race, his pace. Needless to say, we are not really friends any more. And that’s ok.  


We are all just clowns on the bus. Once we figure out that we are no better or no worse and that we are all running our own races, even if some are running the wrong way or not running at all…. it makes life better because we stop comparing ourselves to others.  We don’t think we are better or worse. We just are who we are. 

Keep running your race and I’ll be there cheering you on. No matter the pace. 

Work your program. BUT never work it alone. Have a sponsor, go to meetings, work the steps. Be around others in recovery. 

Working side by side others in recovery is magical and powerful.  Cheering them on. Lifting them up and being of support to them, makes me a better me and allows me to work a better program. 

My journey to serenity continues…

Thanks Google Images for the pic of the clowns and the bus 🤡🚌💕

My Truth

Promises…

Why does addiction start? Is it running from something? Is it escaping feelings? Is it trying to mask who they really are? 

Addiction in this sick way makes promises to the addict. Whispering promises like:

  • You Belong
  • You are in control
  • You are strong 
  • You can trust 
  • You have hope
  • You are confident
  • You are brave
  • You are full of joy
  • Your life is full 
  • You are worthy
  • You are not judged

And at first it works. The addict feels strong and in control and that they belong and that they can  use this mask to cover up what’s really going on inside them. 

After those feelings the addict is hit with guilt and shame and sadness that this illusion didn’t last long enough so they use again and again again to escape themselves and this internal prison. 

Here’s the truth…… RECOVERY DELIVERS EVERYTHING ADDICTION PROMISES and more. 

It is only by the power of recovery that you are able to:

  1. Admit you can’t 
  2. Know that God can
  3. Let God
  4. Look within
  5. Admit wrongs
  6. Get ready to change
  7. Seek Gods help
  8. Become willing 
  9. Make amends
  10. Do a daily inventory
  11. Pray and meditate
  12. Give it away


And just like how Recovery delivers addictions broken promises. These are Gods promises too. God has promised us:

  • we are forgiven
  • we are free
  • there is hope
  • we each have purpose
  • we each are gifted
  • that we are valued 
  • and that we are blessed! 

My journey to serenity continues….

I took the picture used in this post and used Font Candy to add the text.

My Truth

500 Days of looking up!!! 

500 days of focusing on my needs. My program. My journey.

500 days of not looking back. 


500 days of understanding how my life was overtaken by chaos and having a plan in place to never allow that nonsense and foolishness to rule my world again. 

500 days of saying no to what no longer serves me but yes to things that do. 

500 days of trusting that I’m heading in the right direction. One step at a time. 

500 days of listening to my life tell an amazing story of understanding and letting go. 

500 days of steps forward and a few back, and sometimes standing still while feelings pass over me. But those steps back and standing still moments did not derail me, they did not stop my forward momentum. Instead those moments gave me rest to keep going. 

I am 500 days away from the addict/ codependent dance that I knew so well. 

I am 500 days closer to the person God wants me to be. 

I am 500 days closer to the life that I got off track from.

I still have work to do for sure but it’s amazing what can happen in just 500 days if you just let go and let God. 

500 days of looking up and thinking…I trust You. You hold the answers. I will praise You for all you have done in my life. 

My journey continues….one day at a time. 

I took this picture from my back yard and use font candy to add the text. 

My Truth

Pain not wasted…

I’ve moving along in my step 4 and last night I was feeling hurt by what happened last year with my relationship with XXXX. 

I starting writing and went from zero to 100 on feeling hurt by just writing his name down. 

I know I will feel so much better when I’m done but I wanted to pause and just sit with feeling this way for a moment. 

I am hurt in fact I was pretty pissed off about all that happened when I started writing last night. 

As I continue to write tonight, I realized that God does not waste our pain and I have learned so much about myself in this process. 

  

I know I was in that place for a reason. Decisions I made. Consequences for the decisions that I made. God was not surprised at my decisions. 

God nudged me along the way. I hid and lied to others the truth of what was going on. I hid and lied and justified to myself, what was really going on. But God was waiting for me, when I was ready. 

I kept thinking, maybe THIS was the time that it would work. But it wasn’t. No sooner did those thoughts enter my mind, they were crushed by another binge. 

My x was sick in his addiction and not capable of more at that time. He taught me that was able to be loved when he was sober. He taught me I was able to give love on a very deep level when he was sober. And I am forever grateful for that understanding now. I wanted nothing more than to get back to that place with XXXX  but that was not part of Gods plan for me or him. 

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

If I was not in that terrible place, I would not have the understanding and healing that I have today. 

God was not surprised that I ended up there and that now I am here. 

I blog and share my story for His glory. The people that he sent to walk along side me. The people that I have been sent to, to walk along side them…..its a beautiful thing that we are connected and in fellowship to lift  each other up. 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

This place called serenity…

According to the WebstersDictionary serenity means clear, free of storms or unpleasant change, shining bright and steady. 

Synonyms include calm, peaceful, restful, quiet, still, tranquil. 

What calm, peaceful, clear, shining bright means to me may mean something different to you. 

I have calm in my life. When it comes to the everyday stuff. 

I have peace in my home again. I no longer have to look around for my ex boyfriend As I come and go. No longer feel that fear when my phone rings or I get a text message. I don’t worry about my boys walking to and from school and see him. I don’t worry that he’ll show up to the high school football game because he knows I would be there. I don’t have to think about him standing by my mailbox. 

The days ahead look clear. As long as I stay on track. Keep working my program. Keep being honest with myself. Keep my head up. 

And I will keep shining bright. Sharing my story so that I can shine my light on someone else’s darkness. 

I read the Serenity Prayer every morning.  It starts my day off in the right mind set. Reminding me that some things are how they are supposed to be and that its my responsibility to change things I can and understand which is which. To take things one day at a time. Understanding hard days leads me to good ones. That God is in control and not me. And one day, in Gods timing I will be in paradise with the Lord. 

Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.

I am well on my way to a clear, free of storms or unpleasant change, shining bright, steady, calm, peaceful, restful, quiet, still, tranquil life. Come join me, the best is yet to be. 

My journey to serenity continues…