My Truth

Let Your Light Shine

I’m not a big believer in New Years resolutions mainly because I have not been successful in past years. At first it’s motivating but it soon fades.

But I am a believer in words and how powerful they are for me. So rather than say, I’m going to join a gym and workout everyday, I’d rather say my focus is on self care this year and see how that plays out. Maybe that’s an easy way out but it works for me.

In 2015 I wrote ‘living life with drive and purpose, faith and integrity, grace and joy, consistency and always with kindness.’ Those words are how I would describe my Dad. This was a hard year and I’m not sure how successful I was in all those words that year but then I got to start over with a new book with 365 blank pages.

So for 2016 I simply said ‘Trust His Plan’ and didn’t I ever.

I used words from my High School crest for 2017, ‘Grow in grace and wisdom’ There was a lot of steady growth that year. Lots of understanding and healing.

For 2018 I wrote simply ‘I Love’. Which covered rediscovering and enjoying things I love and being open to finding new things to love.

My words for 2019 were

  • Different
  • Better 
  • More 

This was about doing even more of what I love. Being around people I love. And stepping into new things coming my way with confidence.

I just looked through the photos on my phone for 2019 and I did a pretty good job with different, better and more.

So I’ve been thinking a lot about my words for 2020.

I kept getting messages about ‘light’. So I looked up in the Bible verses about light then more specifically people being light or people shining their light.

Here are 2 of my favorites: 

Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. Matthew 5:15-16

No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. Luke 8:16

So that is exactly what I am going to do. I will continue to:

living life with drive and purpose, faith and integrity, grace and joy, consistency and always with kindness.

And I will always remember to Trust God’s Plan.

I will grow in grace and wisdom.

I will love.

I will keep searching for different, better and more.

But this new year, in fact new decade. These new roaring 20’s I will focus on:

Letting my light shine

Shining my light for someone else’s darkness.

And surrounding myself with like-minded HOPEDEALERS!

Cheers to 2020!

My journey to serenity continues.

Stay on this journey with me, the best is yet to be.

I created the graphics used in this post by using Font Candy.

My Truth

Play Book for Being Human

There have been seasons of my life that I have wished there was a play book. A book with choices and outcomes so that if I choose this, I would know that that would happen. Or if I chose that than I can skip forward 50 pages and the outcome would be this. 

Wouldn’t that be amazing. 

Well actually I don’t think it would. 

But while in every season as obstacles and opportunities come to pass, there are choices that hold unknown outcomes. Until the outcome happens. Praying I’ve made the right decision. Trying to stay out of the what if’s. Until we know. 

This is called trust. It’s called trusting God will and desire for my life. This is called faith. 

While there is not a play book, there is a book. Perhaps you have heard of it…..

Psalm 34:4 “I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” 

Philippians 4:6-7 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” 

Matthew 6:34 “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”


The best thing about this book you ask? The author of this book loves the reader. 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth

ever felt like you are in a personal prison???

Ever felt like you are in a personal prison? I have. Ever heard that expression that you are a slave to your addiction? 

Did you know it’s even in the Bible? 2 Peter 2:19

They promise freedom, but they themselves are slaves of sin and corruption. For you are a slave to whatever controls you.

The addict is all consumed and control by the next fix. It’s all about the next hit and who that impacts and what is going on around them is completely irrelevant. 

And the codependent is all consumed with the addict and trying to control what is going on. We each were in our own personal prison. 

Being with a binge drinking alcoholic, I have witnessed this craziness of control that alcohol had over people in my life. That it makes no sense looking in that he would go buy the $3 small bottle of whatever and then have to go get more later. Why not buy a bigger bottle? Because he couldn’t. He thought that this time he would the last one and only need this much. It turned out, it was not enough and he was right back at the store getting more.  

And then my crazy behavior trying to make it easier for him. Looking in that it makes no sense that I would pay to turn the lights back on or buying bottled water when the water was cut off. 

This prison we were both in. 

Once we hit our true bottom, and we are ready. And here’s the thing that no one tells you or you are just unable to see until you are in your bottom and you know your life is out of control and you know you are a mess and can’t do this alone……

The prison you were in. 

The door you have been staring at for so long. 

Feeling trapped. 

Feeling like you have no choice. 

Feeling like this is how my life is going to be and as good as it gets.  

The door has been unlocked the entire time and you are free to leave! 


My journey to serenity continues

What Does The Bible Say???

the funeral of a man I never met

Tonight I went to a funeral of a friend of a friend. When one hurts we all hurt. I went to support my friend and her family. 

While I didn’t know the man who died, I have known and loved many like him. His story was uniquely his but threads of every addicts story woven throughout. 

Amazing Grace,  wow what a powerful beautiful song. 

Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
T’was blind but now I see

T’was Grace that taught my heart to fear
And Grace, my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Through many dangers, toils and snares
We have already come.
T’was grace that brought us safe thus far
And grace will lead us home,
And grace will lead us home

Amazing grace, Howe Sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
T’was blind but now I see

Was blind, but now I see.

This man lived through many dangers, toils and snares. And lived his life as best as he could with what he had. And now he sits with the Angels free from pain (both physical and mental). His brokenness is healing in heaven. 

And just as it’s described in Psalm 23:1-6.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All the days of my life; And I will dwell[a] in the house of the Lord Forever. 

I have always loved this Psalm. It has always made me feel safe and protected and cared about. My favorite parts are: He restored my soul. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies and My cup runs over. 

This relates so amazingly well with recovery…..

He restored my soul……In heaven we are restored, healed no longer hurting and broken. Steps 1-12! 

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies……for me this means that each of us is so special to God and He has prepared a table before us. Meaning each of us has a place at the table individually in spite of what anyone else thinks about us. We each deserves and have a place at Gods Table. I see Steps 4 and 10 all over this one. 

My cup runs over……is all about abundance. Abundance of love, mercy and grace. Abundance that I can’t even imagine. Step 12, sharing with others. 

So much to learn and think about tonight from the funeral of a man I never met. I am grateful. 

My journey to serenity continues…..

My Truth

Meeting you where you are….

One thing I love is that God meets us where we are. No need to perform before we start over. No check lists to check off. Doesn’t matter that it’s the 1st time or the 100th time we messed up, we have as many start overs that we need. And the one that matters is the last one. 

What does the Bible say about starting over…

2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.

See not only do I get to start over but I am also forgiven for the past mistakes. The old had passed and the new has come! 

What does the Bible say about the future…

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

My future is bright because of Gods grace and love. 

As I continue to heal and grow in recovery (it’s 18 months by the way) I love the direction my life is moving. I love the friendships that I have with others in recovery. 

I was thinking about how much this blog means to me and how I love to share about my recovery. And was also thinking about how I’ve been able to use my artwork in my posts. Art work that I made a year before my journey to recovery started. God knew that I would be in this place and be able to use both of these creative outlets. 

What’s next for me in my recovery? 

I’m finishing up a step study, we have a couple of weeks left. We are planning on staying together as a group and do another study together. I was also asked to co-lead the next women’s step study. I am now part of the leadership team for CR and I hope to start to do more for our group, like be able to teach now and then. I am working on a book about my experience in recovery! It’s an extension from my blog. I am in the process of writing it now. I started a local group of bloggers to support each other. We meet twice a month. It’s a fun group and we all blog different topics. 

God met me where I was and sent the right people to walk me out of the mess and chaos that was my life and now the more I trust His plan for me, the more amazing things are revealed to me. Because I’m ready now. I’m ready to share more with others about what God has done in my life! 

Stay on this journey with me….the best is yet to be. 

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth, What Does The Bible Say???

running on empty…

I feel like I’ve been running on empty for a very long time and especially lately. for different reasons but empty all the same. 

Sparks of recharging but short lived. 

I have felt overwhelmed about all parts of my life for a long time. Trying to keep all the parts moving within reason. 

I am planning on making some time this weekend and get a plan together for a few things that need to be taken care of. 

  

Plan your work, work your plan.   

I have often thought about time and energy spent on different parts of life as tanks. My relationship with God tank, my relationships with my kids tank, my personal development tank, my friends tank, my enjoyment at work tank, my financial tank as examples. I draw tanks and label them. On a scale of 1 empty to 10 super happy where do I feel I am in these different places. 

How I choose to spend my time and energy is my decision. Sometimes some things need to take a backseat and less of my attention. 

Spending time and energy on my recovery from codependency and really healing from prior bad relationships takes time, energy and willingness. I’m so there but it’s exhausting. 

Hoping this 3 day weekend will allow me to recharge, reevaluate and recover a little bit more. 

John 16:13 
When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

Proverbs 21:5 
The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty comes only to poverty.

James 1:5 
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.

My journey to serenity continues…

My Truth, What Does The Bible Say???

Finding Hope in Healing…

I looked up the definition of HOPE. Hope is to trust in…..wait for……look for…..or desire for …..something or someone ……..beneficial in the future.

There was a time not long ago that I had hope in  my own ability to get a situation were I wanted it. The more I tried, the further from hope I got. 

If you are new to my blog, first welcome and thank you for reading and second what you should know is I struggle with codependency. I was in a relationship with an alcoholic. 

We struggled for months and months with our addictions and our lives were completely out of control. With his encouragement, I kept waiting for him to hit his bottom and at each thing that turned out not to be his bottom, I was pulled further into a life that was not my own. 

It ended in the worst of ways. He went to jail and I went to the courthouse and got a protective order. Heartbroken and confused about how this all happened. 

  
I started attending a 12 step program about 6 months ago. I really felt hopeless when I first started. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I was so broken inside. 

With the grace of God, I kept attending meetings, tried different nights, started talking to people and found out about the program I now attend and just adore. 

I know that God goes before me and put people in my life to help me with my understanding of codependency and recovery. 

God had restored my hope and my hope rests in him. 

What does the Bible say about hope?

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you. declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Hebrews 11:1
Faith is the assurance of things you have hoped for, the absolute conviction that there are realities you’ve never seen. 

Isaiah 41:10
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

My journey to serenity continues…