Tag Archives: wisdom

Promises…

Why does addiction start? Is it running from something? Is it escaping feelings? Is it trying to mask who they really are? 

Addiction in this sick way makes promises to the addict. Whispering promises like:

  • You Belong
  • You are in control
  • You are strong 
  • You can trust 
  • You have hope
  • You are confident
  • You are brave
  • You are full of joy
  • Your life is full 
  • You are worthy
  • You are not judged

And at first it works. The addict feels strong and in control and that they belong and that they can  use this mask to cover up what’s really going on inside them. 

After those feelings the addict is hit with guilt and shame and sadness that this illusion didn’t last long enough so they use again and again again to escape themselves and this internal prison. 

Here’s the truth…… RECOVERY DELIVERS EVERYTHING ADDICTION PROMISES and more. 

It is only by the power of recovery that you are able to:

  1. Admit you can’t 
  2. Know that God can
  3. Let God
  4. Look within
  5. Admit wrongs
  6. Get ready to change
  7. Seek Gods help
  8. Become willing 
  9. Make amends
  10. Do a daily inventory
  11. Pray and meditate
  12. Give it away


And just like how Recovery delivers addictions broken promises. These are Gods promises too. God has promised us:

  • we are forgiven
  • we are free
  • there is hope
  • we each have purpose
  • we each are gifted
  • that we are valued 
  • and that we are blessed! 

My journey to serenity continues….

I Love You Like No Other

When I started to date my ex boyfriend, he started love bombing the second we reconnected. 

We went to high school together. Knew each other but were not really friends back then. Fairly small graduating class, everyone knew everyone.

He was watching me and I didn’t realize it. He was grooming me from the start. Commenting now and then, sending messages. Learning about my likes and dislikes. 

Telling me ALL the things I so desperately needed to hear. He like the things I liked. He did things that he knew was important to me. He added to my life by helping around the house and yard. Also added new things to my life like healthier eating, working out and meditation. 

I felt loved, and cared about and that I had a true partner. But I was fooled. He would tell me that he loved me like no other. And all this love bombing clouded my judgement. I was surrounded by this fog that I couldn’t see but the fog, I ran past stop signs and warning signs. But I was living the best I could at THAT time. 

When he said I love you like no other, was he really saying that he was so desperate and he needed me to stay because no one would love him? Maybe. Did he really even love me? Probably not. 

Takers love a giver. And he was a taker. It was the perfect storm for codependency.  

I forgive myself for who I WAS at that time. I was doing the best I knew to do. 

Being in THAT place, was the best thing that ever happened to me. Had I not been here, I wouldn’t be here in THIS place. 

I could be resentful but who does that benefit? How would serve me in my life today, it wouldn’t. My ex boyfriend was also broken and coping with life the only way he knew how. 

Today I have a RELATIONSHIP with Jesus Christ. I have always believed in Jesus. I grew up going to Church but was going through the motions. TODAY, I seek God out. I read and meditate on His word. Today I TRUST His plan for me. Today I RELY on Him for strength and understanding. 

Today I have meaningful deep relationships with others in recovery. 

Today I can look back and be grateful for the lessons learned and for that time in my life with how painful is was, because of the changes that have happened since. 

It is only by the grace of God that I found the Celebrate Recovery program, I found a sponsor, i am working the program and I can say this and mean it to my core. 

My journey to serenity continues…

Trust God 

My sister in law passed away on June 1st, at her celebration of life the Celebrant shared this poem with us. 

Jenny’s poem. 

Trust God’s wisdom to guide
Trust his goodness to provide
Trust his saving love and power
Trust him every day and hour
Trust him as the only light
Trust him in the darkest night
Trust in sickness
Trust in health
Trust in poverty and in wealth
Trust him living – dying too
Trust him all the journey through


Struggling with codependency, letting go and trusting God is hard. And shows up in places that I sometimes don’t expect. 

With the loss of a dear friend and father figure. I need to let go and trust God. 

What does the Bible say about Trusting God… Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5)

Finding recovery in unexpected places. 

My journey to serenity continues…..

That’s not mine….return to sender

I have not written about it in a while but my kids are not talking to their dad. 

It’s a sad situation all around but one I cannot control. It’s sad because everyone is hurting and when people hurt, I feel it deeply too. My heart aches that my boys are hurting and my heart aches that my ex-husband is hurting too. 

My boys see a counselor and continue to work out their feelings and how they want to handle this with their dad. Sorting out their feelings, understanding boundaries and working on life as teenagers and all that brings with it. 

My ex and I have had a decent co-parenting relationship since we divorced up until the boys each decided that they didn’t want to talk or see him anymore. 

On their own, they wrote him a letter. 

I understanding their hurts because I had the same ones. Over time I have gotten to the place that he is who he is. And I stopped having expectations that he is who I needed him to be and just accepted him for the person he is. 

Since being in my program, I have forgiven him for many things and now understand my part too.  

I can not fix the relationship between them. It’s not mine to fix. My ex knows how to push my old Codependent buttons but it doesn’t work anymore. And that frustrates him. 

He called me the other day and there was blaming and finger pointing in my direction. He is not yet in that place to see and own his part.  So he projected all of his anger about the situation at me. 

ITS NOT MINE, RETURN TO SENDER

Part of the serenity prayer comes to mind……and the wisdom to know the difference. I really do not want them to hurt, but this is not in my control. And is not for me to change. 

I encourage the boys to see the humanness of making mistakes. I encourage the boys to give a voice to how they feel and to create boundaries. And we talk about understanding and forgiveness. 

I pray for God will intervene in His timing to make this situation better for everyone. Only in the way He can. I could say more specific requests but it’s not what I want, it’s what each of them needs. Only God knows that and can begin to heal these relationships. So I am lifting this situation up to Him. 

My journey to serenity continues…

I share my story because…

Someone asked me today, why do you share your story? Why do you blog? Why are you willing to share your story at a meeting? 

Well there are 3 parts to this answer…

#1. Sharing my story of love and recovery is for me aka the story teller. Because….

  • There is power is writing my story.
  • There is power in hearing myself say it out loud.
  • It keeps our story real and reminds me of how far i have come. 
  • It strengthens my commitment to my recovery. 
  • It helped me find my voice. 
  • It’s the ultimate form of self love or self care.
  • It’s one of the steps. Step 12 Having had a spiritual experience as a result of these steps, we try to carry this messsge to others and practice these principles in all of our affairs.
  • It’s a form of service to others. 

#2. Sharing my story of love and recovery is for others. Because…

  • I shine my light not for me but for someone else’s darkness. 
  • It shows others that they are not alone. 
  • It encourages others in their journey. 
  • It gives others hope in recovery. 
  • You create amazing friendships from those in recovery. 
  • Allows others with similar stories to have someone who can relate to and go to for support. 
  • We sharpen each other 
  • You can share tools and experience.

#3. Sharing my story of love and recovery is to glorify God. Because….

  • It is only by His grace, love and forgiveness that I am in this place today and I need to tell others what He has done for me. 

This girls journey to serenity continues…

Living the Serenity Prayer

Tonight it accurred to me that working a program and studying the steps is living the serenity prayer. 

Here is what I mean…..

I am in that place of understanding that It served me best to accept the things that I cannnot change and to give those things to God. As someone who struggles with codependency, this is hard. My default is to want to fix it. I would feel a responsibility to help even when it was never my place to do so. So accepting things for what they are, is amazing. 

Courage to change the things I can. This takes action to change things I can. I may not like how someone interacted with me but I am in charge of how I react. I may not like how someone else does something, but it’s ok they do it differently than I do. This new thought process is powerful. 

And the wisdom to know the difference. Knowing the difference between what I cannot change and what I can takes prayer and willingness to pause. Hit the pause button. Talk to trusted healthy recovery friends. And to pray about it. Asking for wisdom. That’s huge! 

Living one day at a time. Addictive behaviors be it codependency or drugs or alcohol or enter in the vice of your choice here starts as a way to cope with something else. Maybe to avoid feelings or to avoid conflict. Maybe to escape what is really going on. Whatever it is, it becomes part of who you are and how you cope. So then with recovery, we learn a new way of coping. We replace these old behaviors with new healthy ones. This takes efforts, patience and practice to make a new heathy choice. And it’s done one decision at a time, one day at a time. 

Enjoying one moment at a time is being present. Enjoying good times and staying present in hard times too. In those hard moments, that is where you find recovery and start to use your new found tools and way of coping. It’s so easy to shut down or go to your vice. But when you don’t and you make the next right choice that is enjoying one moment at a time. 

Accepting hardships as a pathway to peace. Remember what I just said….being present in hard times too. The darkest nights makes the brightest stars. And hard days lead to better ones and sometimes you just have to hold on until a better day comes. The only way I keep growing into the person God wants me to be is to face hardships and lean into Him to get past them. 

Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. This sentence always makes me think. You don’t think for a second that when Jesus was here on earth that he didn’t want to change it? He sure could have but he didn’t. He loved the sinner and used their stories to give hope to others. He used ordinary people to show others extraordinary love, courage, strength, grace and hope. 

Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to Your Will. This is about trusting God. He gave us free will, because He wants us to want to have a relationship with Him. Letting go and trusting Him. His will not mine. God has this amazing gift of already knowing the end of the story. Every right choice and every wrong one too. Every time I’ve turned my back on him, His plan was to bring me back and He sent people to meet me where I was and walk along side me. His will in His timing. 

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life.  Reasonably means in a fair and sensible way. There are days I feel happy and there are days I feel very happy. And there are days that I am not happy at all but I think this word is used because of the next sentence. 

And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.  Supremely means well or excellently. Forever in the next it’s a happy that I can’t even imagine. It’s a joy and peace that had no earthly words. The difference between fair and sensible vs well and excellently is miles and miles apart. 

This is just my take on this powerful prayer. I say it out loud every morning in the car on the way to work. 

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 
Courage to change the things I can; 
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Living one day at a time; 
Enjoying one moment at a time; 
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
Taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world 
As it is, not as I would have it; 

Trusting that He will make all things right 
If I surrender to His Will; 
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life 
And supremely happy with Him 
Forever in the next. 
Amen.

My journey to serenity continues….

500 Days of looking up!!! 

500 days of focusing on my needs. My program. My journey.

500 days of not looking back. 


500 days of understanding how my life was overtaken by chaos and having a plan in place to never allow that nonsense and foolishness to rule my world again. 

500 days of saying no to what no longer serves me but yes to things that do. 

500 days of trusting that I’m heading in the right direction. One step at a time. 

500 days of listening to my life tell an amazing story of understanding and letting go. 

500 days of steps forward and a few back, and sometimes standing still while feelings pass over me. But those steps back and standing still moments did not derail me, they did not stop my forward momentum. Instead those moments gave me rest to keep going. 

I am 500 days away from the addict/ codependent dance that I knew so well. 

I am 500 days closer to the person God wants me to be. 

I am 500 days closer to the life that I got off track from.

I still have work to do for sure but it’s amazing what can happen in just 500 days if you just let go and let God. 

500 days of looking up and thinking…I trust You. You hold the answers. I will praise You for all you have done in my life. 

My journey continues….one day at a time. 

I took this picture from my back yard and use font candy to add the text.